Ephesians 3:18-19 (AMP)
18 That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
19 [That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!
To experience the fullness of God one must experience the all-encompassing Love of God. Love is fullness. I love His love. It breaks shame. It breaks hopelessness. I utterly destroys fear. It fills the heights of Glory to the depths of the grave. It shatters hate. It extends to lengths of life and breadth of our experiences. It is true that he who has been forgiven much loves much… I’m going to get a little transparent here.
I’ve experienced a lot of brokenness brought on by my own actions and the actions of others…and I have wounded others. I hate when I wound others. I hate it. I hate when my issues transfer to others. Sometime I wish my weapons were carnal because I feel like I would have a better chance at winning(I’m a big dude). I try to beat my body into subjection (1 Corinthians 9:27) but fail. Dirty rags becoming even dirtier. Filthy rags. I can’t wipe a dirty mirror with a dirty rag can I? I feel broken waiting for mending…like a piece of cloth in a basket for God to get around to mending me. My soul hurts when exposed and faced with itself. I love in light yet hurt in darkness (Eze. 8:12). Hurt people hurt people.
I recently just completed my Elijah House 202 Prayer Ministry training. I’m very happy to have been able to go through that training…because I need it. I need inner healing and deliverance. Sometimes daily. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing who I am in Christ yet walking away and forgetting who I am. It’s like walking around Two-Faced(Batman reference) and I don’t have control over the coin flip. I just thought of that coin and what it looks like. It’s two-sided and the good side is clean and the other side…marred, wounded, damaged.
I love God with everything I have. Some says you either give God 100% or 0%. I disagree. God honors whatever percentage we give Him. Despite my pain, hurt, sin, and damage I’ve caused others I hope in God. This scripture has one of the most beautiful pictures that touch the depth of me…it’s Zechariah 3:1-7 and it says
1 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. 2 The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! Indeed, the Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?” 3 Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments and standing before the angel. 4 He spoke and said to those who were standing before him, saying, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” Again he said to him, “See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes.” 5 Then I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments, while the angel of the Lord was standing by.
6 And the angel of the Lord admonished Joshua, saying, 7 “Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘If you will walk in My ways and if you will perform My service, then you will also govern My house and also have charge of My courts, and I will grant you free access among these who are standing here.
God cloths him with clean clothes. God told those who were there to remove the filth and replace it. I see so much hope and the depth of love in this passage. Often times I see myself as Joshua and asking God to remove the filthy garments. I love what Graham Cooke says, “In the moment of your greatest failure, God kisses you.” To be kissed by God! To be clothed in light and wrapped in a cocoon of love. It’s amazing how tears of despair can alter into tears of love’s depth. Even though a person is being sifted God has interceded for them. God has interceded for me. He corrects me like a son by kissing me like His beloved. Truly the goodness of God leads to repentance. He RUNS to me. Embracing all that I am and all that I am not. John 6:37 says
All whom My Father gives (entrusts) to Me will come to Me; and the one who comes to Me I will most certainly not cast out [I will never, no never, reject one of them who comes to Me]. (AMP)
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit I come to You. I…come…to You and find You already there. I come to my senses while Your gaze saw me senseless. I saw my dirt and you saw Your light. I saw myself and You saw Yourself in me. You ran while I walked. You were slain before I ever fell. I only have the ability to love based on Your love for me. I love You with all that I can give and I plan on giving more and more until I come to the full experience and expression of Your love. Give me clean clothes and a clean mirror so I can see You. I admit full responsibility for my actions. Help me to walk like who I really am. Help me to fully express myself to you so I can be fully known and fully loved.
In Jesus’ name,