Inner Healing

(k)no(w) where to sit

I never knew where to sit. Every lunch period of every day of every year at school. I was liked by others, I think, or maybe more so tolerated. I’ll never know fully I suppose. All I remember is peering into the large cafeteria in the middle of the entrance with its heavy doors and push bars wondering and posing the internal question…”where do I sit?”

I was never hated in school, that I know of, but it doesn’t seem like I was much liked either. No enemy but no real friends. Maybe others felt ambivalence towards me. The one friend I did know in school never had the same lunch period as me but I knew his other friends wouldn’t have me at their table. So I either sat at the “nerd” table or the table my other friend from Lebanon sat at. Moe was his name. He was the only one who knew me there. I mean it was fine sitting there eating my paper bag lunch next to those who paid using a paper ticket while across the divide there was those eating the delectable round personal pizzas and sub-par cheesesteaks with french fries dipped in the ever so orange-colored ketchup & mayo combo.

It was awkward now knowing where to sit. Not sure if I “felt” rejected though now I know I was. You see, outright rejection is bad but there’s a certain sting when rejected not outrightly but knowing no one cared about you. Cared enough to offer the vacant stool or bench space next to them. I mean it’s school. Ignorant, self-absorption laced with a snub. Should I have expected better? Meh.

But it carried into every day life. Even before public school, when I was homeschooled, there was a girl who I played soccer with in the local community league. We also went to the same soccer camp during the summer…we even carpooled together. Then it was 8th grade and I was put in public school and she went to the same school and guess what…I was met with ambivalence. Not outright rejection but the subtle nagging rejection that creeps up to you when you were looking the other way. I’m pretty sure I remember that hurting.

Even today in adulthood where you’d think things would be different. But it’s not. Now I must confess I’m very introverted so I usually don’t go out of my way either to offer others friendship or simply the emptiness besides me. Maybe the emptiness beside me was from the emptiness inside me? I recall oftentimes where maybe a church gathering occurred or there were open seating for a group discussion or a potluck meal and I would usually sit at an empty circle. Secretly waiting inside me to see if anyone wanted to sit with me and sometime people did but usually they stuck with who they knew and sat with them. I remember the one time I did similar and the pastor of the church saw how no one sat at my table and mentioned it to me. He wasn’t too happy about how it went down.

But one day at a men’s retreat something happened…and is still happening. During a quiet time I saw myself in my mind’s eye in the entry way of my high school cafeteria carrying the baggage which was my question, “Who can I sit with?” With those heavy doors propped open and a full cafeteria I saw a wave. The kind of wave you make when you are picking someone out of the crowd to let them know where you are. The kind of wave that beckons. The kind of wave that shouts, “Hey I’m over here!” meaning I want you here too. That’s the kind of wave I saw. So I saw it and walked over, passing the ambivalence. Passing the lack of turned head. Passed the lack of friendship. Passed the rejection. Passed the lack of everything everyone in school wanted. And into a place prepared for me. An empty space. An empty space not vacant for anyone but reserved for a someone. A place at the head of the table. A place of honor. A place where everyone who is there knows you. And who waved me over? None other than Jesus. And what He told me, broke me.

He said, “You’ll always have a place at my table.”

 

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Copyright by Jordan Gresczyk 5/7/2018

What to Do when you don’t know what to Do

This may sound strange coming from a man but…I love reality shows. Well not all reality shows but certain ones hold some value. Not those silly Survivor, Jersey Shore, and other weird ones. My two favorites are The Voice and So You Think You Can Dance. I tear up when I experience seeing someone who is somewhat hidden now blossoming into their gift. I absolutely love honor, dignity, and being noticed. This article could go very religious in that I could talk about vanity, God’s glory versus man’s, and the other arguments against, well whatever religious people hate about random things but I’m want to come from a different vantage point.

Like I said above, seeing someone be recognized for their gift and honor moves my spirit and soul to a deep place within me. However, if you’re like me, than you’ve tried many things to find “what you’re good at” and have  yet to hit the mark. I played Soccer as a kid (who hasn’t) and then tried baseball one summer then went on to play football for a losing team on a local community league. I then played JV football at high school (nobody gets cut there) then got cut in 11th grade for Varsity football because I was more of a soft-spoken, laid back type of gent. I didn’t care much about school nor about the future. My siblings were excellent hockey players who went on to play pro roller hockey but not me. I liked pot and video games. Then when I was 20 I (re)dedicated my life to Jesus. Got free from pot yet still entangled with self-worth issues.

You see I had trouble individuating when I was younger. I wasn’t really great at one thing. Sure I was semi good at soccer, in baseball I couldn’t hit the ball for the life of me, and in football I wasn’t as aggressive as I should have been. I actually tried out for hockey once but made the B team and then dropped out. I wasn’t good at any particular subject in school though I enjoyed Home EC and the Sciences in general. I absolutely hated reading and writing was a close second. I couldn’t sing, dance, or play an instrument (I tried learning guitar many years back as an adult but threw my “Idiots Guide to Playing Guitar” book away after it demanded I learn to read music) so that was a bust. I even wrote and recorded rap songs (which can still be found online) when I had a lot of free time on my hands. I wasn’t good at it, though I thought the lyrics were on point and held several meanings often. I did not have an education so I went into the family business of carpentry. I was fairly good at that. I do have a strong attention to detail, when I want to, so that helped in that field. Left that field went to other labor work of delivering mattresses and then working at a major toy company’s distribution center. After working 10 hour shifts on concrete floors and working 10 hour shifts during a 12 day stretch twice during Christmas season I had enough of that riff raff. I then took classes at a local community college to help study for three different computer certifications. That was over 4 years ago and I only have 2 out of 3 certifications…in a field where I don’t find fulfillment or gratification. Then I started studying and reading about inner healing & deliverance concepts and I’m hooked. It fascinates me to no end. That and psychology as well. Abnormal psychology to be exact. My new venture is writing. For a person who abhorred reading and writing to become an avid reader and writer is interesting to say the least. The verdict (mine, God’s, and those who read it) is still out on writing. I  also find immense fulfillment is doing prayer ministry in the limited time I do it. If would do it full-time if it were to be economically viable one day. I still have my doubts, which is something I’m pondering in my spirit and my soul, if this is what God has for me or not. Looking back I wish I went to college for Christian counseling but some things weren’t meant to be I suppose. Even at 33 years old I’m still individuating.  Still investigating to find my niche. Still trying to “Do” while finding out what I’m suppose to “Do.”

What I wrote above is probably not foreign to many of you. The only difference is that you may be 20, 40, or 50 and above and still not know. Mid-life crisis anyone? Most of us in waiting have to do what we  have to do to survive and pay bills and most hobbies are to kill time. We are swamped with responsibilities and somewhat forced into fields that don’t fulfill. To those who love what they do and get fulfillment and get paid we all envy you or at least I do. Now here’s the rub…what do you do when you don’t know what to do.

We must reconcile our past and present with God’s truth over us. And to borrow Graham Cooke’s quote, “We must bring the future into today.” The foundation for any “Doing” comes from “Being.” Character is the foundation where fulfillment can be built. When you live in and with fulfillment, the problem of problems diminishes. Problems become a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Fulfillment bends the will of the problem in your favor wherein problems become but a servant to a master. Fulfillment comes when God’s design, imprinted in your spirit, meets the works that were prepared for it. So here are a few places needing to be addressed.

  • Time
  • Land
  • Agreements
  • Surroundings

I’ll attempt to explain these as short and concise as possible. Remember there is no shame or condemnation just reconciliation and alignment.

Time

How many of you have been asked the question, “If you were living in a different time when would it be and why?” It’s a great ice breaker in small groups. But how many actually wish they lived in a different time? When we reject the point in time we are in now we reject God’s very own placement of us. We can see God’s time set for all of us in Acts 17:26 which says, “And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their lands and territories.” You see here that God determines the time in which we will live. If we have rejected our time then we must repent and ask God to forgive us. Some have trauma related to time (good teaching here) and some have even cursed their conception and birth like Job (Job 3:3). Still others have actually had their time switch and manipulated through occult activity and SRA. If that is the case God can and will reorient us back to His original timeline for us. When we come to a place where we accept when we are then we can look at the where we are.

Land

Land is an interesting one. There is not much teaching on land in the body of Christ. But if you were to do a word search the word “land” is used in the KJV you’ll find it used 1,717 times in 1,489 verses. Most, I’m sure, are simply talking about land in general but if you look deeper and read all that within the Scripture you’ll see that land plays a big role. As we see in the Acts verse above God appoints land and territories. God appointed land to Adam & Eve, Moses, and Abraham. The only way these people could live out their destiny is to be on the right land. There are deeper dynamics to land (good teaching here) but I’ll queue you in on one. 2 Chron. 7:14 says, “and My people, who are called by My Name, humble themselves, and pray and seek (crave, require as a necessity) My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.” We’ve all heard this verse but how many have glossed over the ending? I know I have for years but it shows that God wants to heal land. And, like a lot of things, the New Age has stolen and perverted due to the Church leaving a vacuum of not address the whole counsel of God.

When it comes to us and land there are generally two current realities. One is that we are on the land God wants us on or we are not on the land God wants us on. If the former is true and you agree with the Lord than awesome. All is well on the land aspect. If the former, then there are a few reasons. One is that we reject where God wants us just like the time aspect above. Two is that we are not on the land but are moving towards it like Moses and Abraham. Three is that we are dynamic in our land relationship. We go in and out with bondage or we go in and out with freedom. If in bondage, than we are being pulled away by the enemy, ourselves, or trauma but are fighting to stay in. If in freedom, than we accept our land but also know that God has things for us in temporary land placement. To reconcile the where we must again repent for rejecting the land where we are and to ask the Lord if we are on the right land now and if not where to go. God may not say exactly but He may move you to a different city or state like He did to me. We should also ask God about the current land to cleanse it and mine it for God’s treasures (gardeners will understand).

Agreements

We all make agreements as we go through life. Some we vocalize while other we internalize. Both can be labeled “Inner Vows“. Another good article on this is “What is the Soundtrack to Your Story“. When we make agreements on our current life situations, we enforce and solidify the mentality and emotional reactions which then cloud and distort future life situations. That means the past life situations in which you made unhealthy agreements with yourself, others, or the enemy are now clouding and distorting your current reality. We make or have made bitter root judgments which then create a bitter root expectancy.  These judgement we have made then hold us and keep us from advancing. It may very well be one major aspects of not know what to do. We again must repent for our inner vows, bitter root judgments & expectancies and ask God to release us from our words and vows so we can move forwards. All of these steps are things you can do before you know what to do.

Surrounding

We are, for the most part, products of our surroundings. We are an amalgamation of our past. We had good parents, bad parents, or no parents. We had good, bad, or no siblings. Our home was either structured, chaos, or somewhere in between. The list goes on and on. Our environment is a huge factor on who we are and whose we are. As you read above in the “Agreements” section you may notice that some of those agreements we’ve made come from the surroundings we were in. Now the past is the past and can be healed, redeemed, and we can learn from the pain we experienced. What I want to talk about is current surroundings. We need freedom. Freedom to do. Freedom to be. Freedom to try. Freedom to fail and freedom to succeed. If you are not in a place, especially Church, where you can’t grow, try new things, expand than you may need to ask the Father if there is a better place for you. If you were never able to individuate as a child or young adult or even a middle-aged adult then it’ll be difficult to live a life of fulfillment. We must surround ourselves with encourages, life-givers, and positive people. It may be hard where you are now but God can provide at least one person but if not, His Presence can surround you and show you Himself and yourself.

Conclusion

Above I described at least four things to do before you know what to do. The list could go on and on but I wanted to give you a few things that maybe you haven’t looked at before. We need to accept the time we are in and the current land that we are on. Then break previous debilitating agreements and adjust our surrounding as much as possible. You’re probably thinking that you don’t have gifts but I can assure you, God has places design and birthright into your spirit and soul. It’s the process of finding what it is that proves to be most difficult. There is probably no platform, TV show, or other experience where you will get honored or esteemed. But if there was a show highlighting people’s ability to speak peace over troubled souls then you’d been voted in. If there was a show looking for the best mom then you’d be at the top. If there was a contest for “Best Dad” then you would out shine them all. If there was a show where a person who loves to serve without any recognition then you would be showcased. If there was a show where raving about the best person who goes over and beyond while behind the scenes then you would be the star.

I struggle everyday to know “What I’m Good At” and still question the things that I think maybe I have a shot at it. I’m still individuating. Maybe I’m a good writer or maybe I suck. Maybe I’ll be a prayer minister (current dream) or maybe I’ll do more harm than good. I still feel the “problem of problems” and am seeking fulfillment where obstacles bend to my design instead of me bending to them. I’m still attempting to walk out of spirit looking for the works that God designed for it. If I look for outward fruit I may be disappointed but I must know that every tree bears fruit at different seasons. When or where is my season? I don’t know. When and where is your season? I don’t know. But what I do know is that we can prepare beforehand and rid ourselves of baggage and develop character and the fruit of the Spirit which provides a foundation for the gift. Graham Cooke said it best, “People destroy with their character what they’ve built with their gift”.

Spirit I call you to attention and I give you freedom to try and to fail.

I give you freedom to try and to succeed.

I give you freedom to receive your sonship and legitimacy from God your Father.

I give you freedom to be a bride who can rest in the Bridegroom.

I speak peace in the process.

I speak healing from the past and restoration in the present.

I bless you with walking with God instead of walking for God.

I bless with you being before doing.

I bless you with being you and no one else.

I bless you with looking in the mirror and liking what you see.

I bless you with looking in the mirror and loving what you see.

I bless you in the name of Jesus, who loves you with an everlasting love.

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The Power to Bless

How many of you of prayed “the blessing” over your meal? I know I have. We bless the food we eat. We tell people “be blessed” but what are we really doing? Another term used more often in liturgical settings is “Benediction”. Do we know the power of blessing? Do we know what it really means “to bless”? Let’s delve deeper shall we?

Hebrew for Bless is barak which means to cause to prosper.

Greek for Bless is eulogeō which means to consecrate a thing with solemn prayers.

What do we bless? We bless our food. We bless our relationships and work. We bless the church service and bible studies. We bless many things but does it every feel cliché when we say it? Churchy even? Now I understand Church culture and the Christianese language well; I’ve been around it most of my life. But only in the past couple years have I really grabbed ahold of (loose term because God and His ways are higher) what it means to bless.

So what causes our blessings to have power behind it? Intentionality. When God blesses He is very intentional. Genesis 1:22 says, “And God blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.'” God not only blessed but was specific in His blessing. His blessing provided instruction, identity, and purpose. God said. He spoke. The same mouth He used to create the animals was the same mouth He used to provide their identity. Remarkable as it is, this is even seen in human’s blessings.

We all know the story of Jacob and Esau so I won’t break it all down here. Esau was, according to tradition, the rightful heir or beneficiary to Isaac and his land and fortune. Rebekah overheard it and told Jacob to lie to Isaac. Isaac blessed Jacob with the blessing that Esau was meant to have. Here’s the kicker…Isaac couldn’t take it back nor transfer it to another. Once it was all said and done there was no going back. Such power in the blessing. So much so it established Jacob and Esau’s future from there forward. The power to bless. The power of the blessing.

So what? This was something written a long time ago. It couldn’t have any bearing on today could it? Why yes it does. Today, if you listen to the news, you’ll see the continuous conflict of two blessings that were spoken way back when. Isaac, a fallen human, blessed and changed the future immensely. So does that mean we, blood bought heirs of God, can do likewise? Yes and I would say more so. But how? Glad you asked.

Being as we are created in the image of God and are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, designed to co-labor with the Lord, we have the opportunity and unction to establish His Kingdom and dominion on the earth. What can we bless? Land, time, buildings, objects, etc. Rabbit trail commenced: have you ever heard of theology of the land? Probably not. Something I have never, ever heard anyone reference before though I just recently noticed myself, is the very common scripture 2 Chron. 7:14 which states the God will heal our land…rabbit trail ended. God blessed the 7th day (time) and made it holy. Eph 5:16 talks about us redeeming the time. (the concept of redeeming time is for another post). God blessed mountains and objects and certain foods.

God has given us the power to bless. We must be intentional, use our mouths to speak His words, and speak design, purpose, and instruction. Since we will be held accountable for the words we speak let it be blessing and not cursing. Let us bless with focus and legitimize people’s design and purpose.

In my next post I will talk about why we bless our spirits. I’ve posted a few YouTube videos and several blogs where I’ve blessed people’s spirits so I will talk about why I do so.

I bless you today! I bless your design and purpose. I bless you with God’s love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, patience, mercy, power, and majesty. I speak forth healing to your whole self, spirit, soul, and body. I call you bless and highly favored. I speak to the light that is your spirit and tell it to grow, be nourished, and reflect the image of God. I call forth the treasure and inheritance that God has planted in you. I speak to the spark of creativity in you and call it forth and I bless it with God’s power. I bless your purpose and God’s plans. That they would collide in a beautiful array. I bless your whole spirit, soul, and body with God’s transfiguration power that as you behold Him you are changed from glory to glory. I bless you in Jesus’ name.

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Learning Freedom

Sometime back I talked about Learned Helplessness along with Signs & Freedom involving Learned Helplessness. I hope that those posts have put to words and defined things you may have struggled or are struggling with. I mostly hope they have helped you break free or give you tools to help your specific issue(s). But how about Learning Freedom afterwards? Let’s delve in and hash out some ideas.

It was for this freedom that Christ set us free [completely liberating us]; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery [which you once removed].Galatians 5:1 (AMP)

The context of the above Scripture is in reference to the Law given in the Old Testament and our relation or lack thereof to it. I could go into all the ramifications of this but this particular post is about much more real life than theological pandering. So Christ has set us free, is setting us free, and will set us free. But how do we learn freedom?

There are generally two types of non-freedom we are in or can be in.

Captive: one who is taken or held apart from their will, confined, held under control of another but having the appearance of independence

Prisoner: one who breaks the law and is subject to correction or imprisonment due to wrong actions or choices

Captives can be freed via having a greater authority or power than the person keeping them captive.

Prisoners can be freed via a legal process.

Isaiah 61:1 says,

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners

Here we see liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners. There is hope for both. There is hope for me and you.

If you want to Learn Freedom or are Learning Freedom you have to choose freedom or at least make advances towards it. If you are like me you can attest to the fact that once you got saved you were delivered from a bunch of stuff…but some things remained. In my posts Generational Deliverance and Soul Ties(which I think I need to update) I posted some tools for getting free from some of that remaining junk. Anywhoozel how to go about Learning Freedom

Have you ever been scared of freedom? Have you fought actively against freedom? It’s possible you may have Stockholm Syndrome of some sort. Or, like me, you’ve been used to bondage. There is no shame in it. It happens. But we must get free.

There is an interesting dynamic to inmates who have been in prison for their whole adult life. They cannot assimilate with society because prison is all the know. They have been institutionalized. One of the saddest scenes in The Shawshank Redemption is the death of Brooks Hatlen. A man who was in prison all his life was finally freed only to not know how to live. We need to know how to live and not just survive.

As Arthur Burk says we can only be delivered to zero but after that we need to grow. Most of us have been born in the negative. Whether it’s alcoholism, drug addiction, poverty, abuse, or you name it, we need to get free and delivered. We need to get up to zero. But to get above zero we need to grow…we need to learn freedom. To learn freedom it would take a series of books to go through all the nuances and specifics of each story and each specific detail. There is a plethora of material I could point to you (please ask if you are curious) regarding many different way to freedom. I’m not the kind of person who is bound to one stream. All (almost all) steams have their specific tool and will help specific people with specific things. However, one stream can never be a catch-all.

Freedom often comes in increments. Sometimes all at once. Why doesn’t all freedom come all at once? Well, you’ll have to take that up with the Father. Most of our issues didn’t come all at once so I guess our freedom generally won’t come all at once (like I said earlier, sometime we get delivered from a lot of things but then there the few things that tend to hold on).

There are some ministries (programs) that measure freedom by minutes, days, months, and years. Some measure freedom by the intensity of the manifestation involved during the process. Some is based on behavioral changes (modification) and still others is based on the finished work of Jesus are there is never and will never be the need for freedom because we already are there. Many stream preaching their own way and usually saying it’s the only way. Not me.

Freedom will take many shapes, modes, colors, paradigms, streams, avenues, streets, paths etc. If measuring your freedom helps you to learn then, by all means go with it, as long as it doesn’t become a religious thing. If it takes a manifestation then let it be genuine and altering and not just a show. If it takes behavior changes (modification) then let it be breathed on by the Spirit to regain the habits and forge new neural pathways. If it’s simply by the finished work of the Cross (which all true freedom ultimately comes back) then let that freedom come and walk it it but, I say this very carefully and humbly, never hide behind it. What I mean by that is that if you have a real issue and nothing changes then there might be something God may have you do. Don’t stuff it or think it will go away, it might but it might not. God will oftentimes have you co-labor with Him in your freedom walk. You never know when you get out of something and strive for freedom that God will give you a new tool and that tool can be added to your toolbox to help others who were in your same steps. I heard someone say once that when all you have in your toolbox is a hammer then everything looks like a nail. God wants to give us His multi-faceted, poly variegated, multi-colored wisdom and this wisdom comes with being fiercely intentional in learning freedom.

Learning freedom comes with using passionate purposive action and belief. It comes with getting out of your current boxes of beliefs and values and making room for God’s wisdom. Learning freedom comes with make changes and steps that will bring change. Learning freedom comes when you step out into the discomfort of new experiences without the common crutches you’ve learned to rely on. Learning freedom comes from gaining the ability to discern the roots to chop and the roots to nurture. Learning freedom may take a gigantic leap or just a baby step. Learning freedom comes when you know your Father is with you and in you, urging you forward and being there when you fall. Learning freedom comes when realizing you can be truly free. Learning freedom comes when you shed off the label of “wretch” and attach the label of “son.”

How have you learned freedom? Please comment! There is so many other aspects to learning freedom but for word count’s sake I’ll end it here.

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When God Kisses Wounds

It was like every other day since I was infected. Always crying “Unclean! Unclean!” took a toll…on the soul as well as the throat. I don’t know how I contracted it but I did and I pay for it daily. The only comfort comes from those similar. Society has shunned us as a whole and the leaders of the day have a scowl that rivals any rabid animal. “Get away from here,” they foam. “Don’t infect us you unclean vile thing,” they spew. Don’t they know we are still people? Don’t they know we souls still feel regardless if our body doesn’t? Don’t they know we were created in the same image of the God they supposedly worship?

Then one day a man, an altogether different Man, walked by. He was different is the best possibly way. As I cried “Unclean!  Unclean!” He seemed unfazed. Ignorant maybe. Who knows? It doesn’t matter because at this point I’m desperate, yearning for relief. The burden of being shunned is excruciating. Damaging. But, He doesn’t seem to care. As I see Him approach, I see Him seeing me. Not just seeing me but seeing me in all that I am spirit, soul, and body. I started to feel different before He was even in talking distance. Even as I yelled, I saw Him shush me. Not because I shouldn’t yell but because I didn’t need to. He’s heard me since before the Beginning. Then all of sudden we were so close a whisper sufficed. This whisper touched me in the deepest dungeon of my imprisoned spirit all the while my soul, being trapped as it was, started changing. My humanity is returned. My dignity restored. I felt…honored. Yet my body still laid deformed. Until He reached and touched me. Human touch is amazing. Engaging. Vulnerable. In my case, His touch was invading yet compassionate. It broke all notions of what…who I thought I was. Yet this touch was even more. My body did heal as well but it was so much more than that. It was like God Himself touched my whole being. The Trinity touched the trinity. He made things right. And He’ll do it for you. If you feel the need to cry, “Unclean! Unclean!” around people, especially religious ones, know that He came and His Blood speaks over you, “Clean! Clean!”

When God Kisses Wounds.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can destroy the soul. The above story is, what I believe,  what the leper must have or could have felt like and his reactions in the moment. Back in Jesus’ time a leper was an unclean person who had to cry, “Unclean! Unclean!” when others passed by so that they wouldn’t be defiled or harmed by them. Imagine the lifestyle they lived. Imagine the society they lived under where you are a nobody or even worse. A person never touches a leper…but Jesus did. But why? Jesus could have spoken the word but He didn’t. He reached and He touched. He broke the social barrier and brought dignity, honor, and cleansing which in turn also brought healing.

Have you ever wondered why a child will get a scratch, scrape, or cut and wants it kissed? And once kissed, felt better afterwards? I thought it was just a cute thing. I mean, my wife and I do it to each other to be cute and intimate with each other. But there must be something with it.

It is not for the healthy but the sick that Jesus came for. Many times in my life Jesus came and touched me and kissed me in my weakness, in my sin. He will never break a bruised reed. Our Father wants to restore dignity, honor, love, and acceptance into each and every one of us. He wants to restore humanity to its rightful place, which He did in Christ, to us all. He’ll listen to your shouting. He’ll listen to your talking. He’ll listen to your whispering. He’ll reach and He’ll touch. He is willing. Your time is coming.

When I was in a sin, rinse, repeat cycle several years back, I asked the Father, “You must get tired of me?” Immediately His reply was, “I neither slumber nor sleep!” You see, our Father doesn’t rest till we are fully restored. Jesus even said it. “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” Father, Son, and Holy Spirit want and will restore you and kiss you in your weakest, darkest moments. Where you feel trapped by sin, emotional distress, physical handicaps, broken down and disturbed God is walked along the road to go from yelling, to talking, to whispering, to reaching, and then to touching. He is restoring your humanity, dignity, honor, and trinity.

Be blessed! Be restored! You are a human! God loves you!

 

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New YouTube Video Uploaded!

I have post another YouTube video! This video goes along with this post: https://1john417.wordpress.com/2015/05/28/im-going-to-be-a-father/

Protocol? Formula? Is there a difference

Too be honest, this blog came from a thought about what, if any, difference is there between the two and how does it practically work in our spiritual walk. Below is the best I can come up with (honestly I feel like I do pull things out of nowhere) and it is my pondering on the matter.

Protocol – the official procedure or system of rules governing affairs of state or diplomatic occasions. In computer science, a set of rules or procedures for transmitting data…there must be a preexisting agreement as to how the information will be structured and how each side will send and receive it

Formula – a plan or method for doing, making, or achieving something

If we look at the life of Jesus we can see, based on what was written, that He never healed the same way twice. Though all the things He did couldn’t be contained in all the libraries in the world so it is possible that He healed the same way twice or more. I don’t believe He walked and did something and was like, “I’ve done this before so it must work again.” That would be formula.

Formula

In my experience, I’ve found that many Christians who pray for healing pray out of formula like A² + B² = C² instead of protocol – what is needed at the moment and what the Father telling you to do. I am a minister in the local Healing Rooms and as soon as someone has in issue with their back or something people immediately want to do the thing where a person sits and they see if the legs are the same length and, if not, pray for one of them to get extended. Why? Because they’ve seen it done and suppose that is what needs to be done when there could be something totally different. Or because it’s cool… The thing about formula is that for it to work in our eyes we need to see the solution according to what we said or did and without that, we think we failed or God failed. 1+1 ≠ 2 all the time. The way God works doesn’t always add up in our brain so it can set us up for disappointment. We live in an expectation that if we do this, this, and that, then that, that, and this will happen. Since it worked in the past it must work now being as there is nothing new under the sun. Formula binds the outcome based on the facets and variables within itself (if that makes sense). So if you can just one point wrong in that formula there is no possible way of a positive and accurate outcome or solution. Formula has an expectation involved with it. Formula is strict and offers no grace for a wrong move or calculation.

Protocol

I believe protocol to be different from formula, although you could look at both terms and ascertain that they are one in the same. Protocol is the vehicle in which information can pass to something else. I believe Jesus walked in protocol. Protocol lives in the expectancy which Seeing what our Father was doing and then doing it. What I believe to be the protocol when it comes to healing is, in no particular order:

The Blood of Jesus

The Cross of Jesus

The Resurrection of Jesus

The Ascension of Jesus

The Name of Jesus

The Authority of Jesus

The Sayings of Jesus

The Lordship of Jesus

The Direction of Jesus

Being as I work in the IT profession I see protocols as, not hard and  fast rules, but ways in which data is transferred. One protocol will not help or doing anything if the situation doesn’t call for it. What is also interesting is that certain protocols allow for errors and some have error-correcting built-in. When I say errors I don’t mean a spirit of error or sin or anything like that when it comes to spiritual things. Formulas don’t allow for mistakes. Protocol does. But protocol works best with no errors. Now how to put this practically?

Say someone comes up to you and says, “I have this problem and I can’t seem to get free.” Formula will say, “Read the Bible, pray, and go to Church” None of these are wrong, mind you, but each of these can’t possibly be the answers to end all issues. If that were so the Church would be full of 100% healed, set free believers living in God’s glory and their own glory…but that’s not the case. Formula will say, “Well, you’ve answered all the questions correctly so there really shouldn’t be anything wrong with you.” Again I hope I am making sense here. Protocol looks at it from a different perspective. Where has the Blood, Cross, Resurrection, Ascension, Authority, Lordship and/or Name of Jesus not had its perfect work in this situation. All of these are resolved an issue without the full knowledge of details, though details can help. I believe that when encountering such things the first thing we should do is ask, “Father, what is going on and where are You in this? What should and shouldn’t I do? What are You working on in this person?” I think we use formulas because we want to be right and effective, which again isn’t wrong, but there is no formula in relationship. Formulas are unchanging(that which was, will be). Protocols change, bend, and move within a relationship with other protocols(behold I do a new thing). I feel like I am not making sense, which is OK, so I’ll end with this.

We must walk with ourselves and with others out of our relationship with our Heavenly Father and not strict guidelines which we need to follow. The OT consisted of laws and rules to govern people’s relationship with God. And that was labeled the “Ministry of Condemnation.” The NT offers it all in two commandments: love God and love others as you love yourself, which leaves some wide open areas of growth, expansion, and learning. There is a formula we can trust in for our answers, or we can walk with God in the protocols listed above and come to Him as the Answer. Protocol allows for different answers in the same situations. What is God saying about it instead of what He did say about it? There were times where people asked Jesus if He would or was going to do something. In these instances He said “no” and then did it. Why? He followed the protocol of not doing anything except He saw the Father doing it.

If the same ole same ole answers to your questions aren’t helping then maybe look at the protocols listed above and see where they need to be applied to your life, land, generational line, body, etc.

Blessings family!

 

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PS: I’ll be adding a nice addition to some of the blogs. I may need to add somethings to older blogs to enhance the prayer portions. Stay tuned!

 

 

It’s not your fault

This clip is from Good Will Hunting. Just a word of caution. This clip shows a real issue and real emotions. If you’ve been abused this may bring up emotions or flashbacks. My aim is for healing, redemption, and to let you know that it’s not your fault. Please pardon the language:

 

It isn’t! You didn’t do it. You didn’t bring it on yourself. You had nothing to do with it. You weren’t being punished for who you are because who you are is a beautiful person God personally designed, thought about, and put together. You were not a mistake. What happened was caused by someone else and their sin, frailty, and wounding. They did it, not you. You are free from being responsibly for someone else’s actions. God can, and will, and is freeing you from the past. Remember that it is not your fault. You are free to be everything God created you to be. Do me and God a favor today. Take time off. Be you and be comfortable with you. Be who you are. It’s not about performance but about freedom. Truth was meant to set you free not keep you in bondage. I may not fully understand each one of your hurts, wounding, betrayals, abuse, or defilement but God understands. Jesus said, “Come to Me all of you who are burdened and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Receive His rest today. Let it go from mind to heart and from spirit to soul. Let His love wash over you like a hot shower. Cascading over everything you thought you weren’t. Let the ocean of His love and the waves of His grace come and speak to you. Let Him speak to you the thoughts He has that outnumber the sands of the sea. Open up your heart once again to Him who will never, NEVER hurt, wound, or betray you. He longs to hear your voice. He longs to hold your hand. He longs to be with you right in the middle of everything.

I apologize for any emotions or past experiences it may have brought back. Please don’t stuff or neglect emotions because they point to something and it can bring a chance for healing to come. Many of you need to watch it and receive the words and affirmation you’ve so longed to hear and believe. Some may not need to hear this but you may know someone who does. Pass it along. Share it, post it, like it, re-blog it not for me but for someone else.

Follow Me. – Jesus

Matthew 4:19 says

Come, follow Me…

Do you ever feel stagnant in life? How about in your walk with the Lord? I do….right now.

It’s funny how we lose what we have gain sometimes. You look to the horizon and see the light…then we realize we are facing west and the light is going away. And we wait for another dark night of the soul as they say. Why? Why do we lose what we gain? Sometime I think it is because we stop following. We set up shop and stay put. It’s interesting that Jesus said, “Follow Me.” How many actually follow? There is a dynamic aspect to our walk with God. There’s another term we use often yet never think about. Our walk with God.

There’s another interesting thing Jesus said is in John 5:17

My Father is working until this hour, and I am also working.

We need to be active in our life with God. Proactive. Interactive. Not passive or inert. It kinda goes back to the whole Inheritance or Entitlement thing. Are we active participators in with Jesus or are we just along for the ride. If I’ve lost sight of the horizon maybe I should keep following the sun(son). Maybe I’ve seen the signposts and forgot about them and am looking for other ones. Maybe if I don’t hear “Left” or “Right” then I should keep going straight. On a side note, personal prophecy is God’s desire for you but it will only be fulfilled if our desire connects with it. Co-laboring with and in His promises.

So all of this ^^^^ above is what I was originally writing then I was like, “What am I even writing about?” I mean, I know what I was getting at but was I even picking up what I was putting down? Am I going to pose or be real? Am I going to do what I think others need to do? To be honest I’ve been really….discouraged. Kind of lost sight of the bigger picture as well as the smaller picture I would like to see myself in. It’s weird because several weeks back I was full of anticipation and joy. I saw a horizon I could reach.

I was really looking forward to this Waterboyz Wild at Heart Boot Camp this past weekend but during the weekend I just felt….indifferent. Not to say God didn’t speak to me, because He did. Also I don’t want to diminished how blessed I was to see many other men’s lives were changed. There were many great things that happened like 15 men being baptized in the Chesapeake Bay. Four father and son’s hearts were radically turned towards each other. These were amazing things and I shed many tears of joy for these awesome God moments.

What did He speak? I felt He told me, “Well done, son.” I wept. I also realized how many times I’ve spoken negatively over myself in regards to me being overweight or stupid or being an idiot. I took that “Yellow Passport” and wrote all the names I’ve spoken over myself and others have spoken over me. I threw that thing away. I was no longer my identity or destiny. It’s been a week and I still feel….well shitty. Forgive my language but it’s how I feel. Nothing has really changed externally. All my circumstance are the same as they were previous weeks ago. Maybe I picked up on some critters? Maybe I’ve been sensing someone else’s stuff? It does happen.

I guess dreaming long is key where I am at now. People say you need to press through. What does that even mean practically? “Press in” they say. What am I pressing and how do I press? And what may be on the other side? I’m not trying to be negative or have a pity party but process out loud so to speak.

You know it can be very easy to reach out for the imitation. There’s a quote by Bruce Marshall (not Chesterton) which is

…the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.

Now this is incredibly true in all aspects. I’m currently ringing that bell at food. I also ring it at adventurous activity. Of course the brothel is never, ever a good idea and that bell should never be rung. But is food bad? Or marital sex? Or adventure? Or anything clearly within God’s character? It’s all about focus. What am I focusing on? What is my intention? Where is my validation coming from? What or who am I giving power to be the report card on my life?

I often look how behind I am in life. I’m 31 and have a crappy car…super thankful for that car though. I’m in a career field that I’m good at but not passionate about. I want to be in ministry and being able to support a family with that but that seems extremely far-reaching. I feel lost and confused…if that is where I am validated. If my currency and current(cy) is determined by my following something temporal then I’m set up for disaster or heartache. I need to learn to enjoy where I am. Moment by every precious moment. I can enjoy my beautiful God-breathed marriage. I can enjoy actually having a job and being able to pay bills. I can enjoy my times when I can do adventures. I can look and see God’s total provision for my Nicaragua trip. I can choose to acknowledge but refuse invalidation from dealing with anxiety/panic stuff. I can live with having Asthma and allergies and bad teeth. I can see external facts but live in internal truths. I can agree with the process of an outworking salvation, a grasping for a future growth into a present reality, and I can live, with God, moment by moment because I am a much-loved child of God.

I have what it takes. I am noticed. My heart matters. My Father adores me.

You have what it takes. You are noticed. Your heart matters. Your Father adores you.

P.S. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t don’t feel dumb for this blog. It’s title has nothing really to do with the ending. I figured I will keep the title and the featured image.

The disciples belonged before they believed. – Bill Johnson

 

I’ll never do that again!

Yes, that is an inner vow. We all make inner vows at some point in life, more often when frustrated, hurt, or rejected. What is an inner vow? Here is the perfect commercial to watch. When I watched it I looked at my wife and was like, “That’s a perfect commercial about inner vows!”

Let me be clear. I believe that Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection, and ascension is a finished work. Jesus’ took back authority from satan and has given it to us. It is a finished work, plain and simple. But we play a part. We co-labor with Christ. God hasn’t finished working and neither do we finish working till our revealing as the sons of God. Again, this is a finished work….we just walk in it and appropriate it in our life.

An inner vow is a self-made promise a person makes to themselves usually during or after a traumatic experience or situation in which one is rejected by peers or parents etc. For example

A person’s best friend lied about them behind their back and their reaction is, “I’ll never trust anyone again.”

A Wife catches her Husband watching pornography and her reaction is, “My husband is dirty and I can never trust him again.”

A child was sexually abused and the reaction which is more subtle, “I can’t trust those in authority anymore.” On a side not: this issue is far more complicated and can involve many other issues and possible dissociation especially for repeated abuse. No shame or condemnation at all for this because this is actually a natural defense mechanism that protects children but as an adult can keep someone in bondage. Professional help would probably be necessary.

A son watches his Mother verbally berate her Husband/his Father in public and private and reaction is, “I’ll never get married or trust women in relationships. Better to stay single where I am safe.”

Like I stated above and inner vow is often followed by a bitter-root judgment and bitter-root expectancy which is formed from a foundational lie. The inner vow is, “I will never” or “I will always.” While the bitter-root judgment is, “because all women are manipulative” or “all men are abusive” or “those is authority are controlling.” “I will never trust a Pastor again because my last one hurt me by rejecting me and manipulating me so all Pastors are the same.” “I will never” is the inner vow. “because my last one hurt me by rejecting me and manipulating me so all Pastors are the same” is the bitter-root judgment. The bitter-root expectancy is all women will manipulate and all pastors will control and reject.

Inner vows are motivated by bitterness and self-protection and they end up putting walls in our lives. An inner vow is a flesh empowered, self-righteous determination. They prevent us from operating properly is situations. Bitter-root judgments are how we judge something or someone and bitter-root expectancy is how we except things to happen regardless of the situation. Bitter-roots cause us to become like the one we judge by the law of sowing and reaping. Bitter-root expectancies predetermine our responses to situations. Resentments cannot produce righteous deeds. These all generally occur in childhood by age 8 or so but can also happen in adulthood if a situation is very traumatic. Inner vows in children can create spiritual slumber in which spiritual life is minimal or not present at all. Spiritual slumber is when cannot experience the joys of God or of life in others or themselves. Each case is different, of course, so I speak in generalities in these things.

I tend to not like certain individuals evangelistic prayers like, “God, if you will save me, I will serve You the rest of my life.” It sounds great and can be. I don’t want to be dogmatic here but sometimes we vow to God things that we either won’t do or haven’t done. I still believe God honors that prayer but have we honored it? “God, I’ll never do that again!” we say, I’ve said, but how many times do I do “that” again? God knows and honors us in the midst of it all! And that is beautiful news! I also must honor it or break that vow so I can walk forward in freedom and act according to the Spirit without making vows or promises.

Ecclesiastes 5:3-7 declares

If you make a vow to God, don’t delay in discharging it. For God takes no pleasure in fools, so discharge your vow! Better not to make a vow than to make a vow and not discharge it. Don’t let your words make you guilty, and don’t tell the temple official that you made the vow by mistake. Why give God reason to be angry at what you say and destroy what you have accomplished? For [this is what happens when there are too] many dreams, aimless activities and words. Instead, just fear God! (Complete Jewish Bible)

Proverbs 20:25 says

It is foolish and rash to make a promise to the Lord before counting the cost.

Matthew 5:33-37 says

 “Again, the law of Moses says, ‘You shall not break your vows to God but must fulfill them all.’ But I say: Don’t make any vows! And even to say ‘By heavens!’ is a sacred vow to God, for the heavens are God’s throne. And if you say ‘By the earth!’ it is a sacred vow, for the earth is his footstool. And don’t swear ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the capital of the great King. Don’t even swear ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Say just a simple ‘Yes, I will’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Your word is enough. To strengthen your promise with a vow shows that something is wrong.

Wisdom doesn’t say, “I’ll never do that again.” Wisdom is not doing it again. Talk is cheap, as they say. Inner vows can be the same as word curses. There are many times I’ve said, “I’ll always be fat” or simply “I’m fat.” And guess what? I am overweight at the moment. So instead of me continuing on fulfilling that vow I need to break it and ask God to forgive and loose me from the vow…I have lost 10 pounds now and on my way losing more.

This inner vow, bitter-roots thing isn’t some dark room we need to strain to see into in order to fix ourselves. Introspection won’t bring freedom. It is simply asking God to turn the lights on in the room to clean house. I’ve said it before and will say it again, “Seeking darkness will not produce light and vice versa.” We acknowledge these things in order to break their power over our lives. Here is a sample prayer, not to be confused with a formula. God is into protocol, not formulas. In place of the ____ put the inner vow you believe(d). In the other ____ put the bitter-root judgement and/or expectancy. ON the fourth ____ put the lie you believed that provided the foundation. Fifth ____ put the Truth. Lastly put the name of a person who was involved in the vow, judgment, and/or expectancy.

Father, in Jesus’ name, I come boldly before Your throne of grace seeking Your mercy. Holy Spirit show me, in Your grace and truth, areas where I’ve made inner vows to myself or about people along with the vows I have made to You in which I have not fulfilled them, either in childhood or adulthood. Father, reveal the vows I made either consciously or unconsciously. Father, forgive me for vowing _____. Forgive me for forming a bitter-root judgment concerning ____. Forgive me for forming bitter-root expectations by expecting ____. Father forgive me for believing the lie that ____. I repent for that lie and I choose the truth that ____. Forgive, me and cleanse me. Father go back to those childhood times of trauma and enter into them and show me that You were there and precisely where You were. Heal the trauma, rejection, bitterness, and wounds I received. I choose to forgive ____ for what they did or may have done, whether intentional or unintentional. Forgive me how I reacted in the soul. Today, I choose to respond to the Spirit and respond in my spirit. Father I ask you to release me from the inner vows, bitter-root judgments and expectancies from generations past, including my parents, whether step parents, foster parents, or adoptive parents and the those I made myself. I now address any demonic beings, if they haven’t left by now, and command them to be removed by the authority and power of Jesus’ name. I bind, renounce, and rebuke all demons attached to the inner vows, bitter-root judgements, and expectancies that I made and those done in my generational line. Father God, Almighty, I ask that You would deal with any cosmic beings that are involved as well. I ask that You, God, would rebuke and led away those cosmic beings. I submit to God’s authority in this area.

I now, by faith and experience, receive your faithfulness and justice to forgive me. I stand under the Blood, Cross, and Resurrection of Christ and declare myself white as snow. Father loose me from these vows that I have said, agreed to, and/or lived out in my life. Take the Sword of the Spirit to these roots and sever them from myself. May all ungodly fruit drop to the ground and be no more. Thank You, Father, for turning on the light. I receive Your light as armor and guidance and glory. I now put on the Lord Jesus Christ. I put on the armor of light. I put on the new man who is led by the Spirit and not my former vows. God empower me to say “Yes” and “No” to things. I now rely on the Holy Spirit on how to respond to situations in my spirit and not my soul. Holy Spirit, lead and guide me. In Jesus’ name. Amen and Amen!

Father, I ask that You would seal the work done with those who read this. I call forth righteous fruit and righteous roots to take hold. I pray love would fill their hearts, minds, and actions. I pray you fill all empty spaces left with your Spirit and that You would enthrone the thrones of their souls. In Jesus’ name. Amen and Amen.

 

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The Power Of Honor

honor

Honor is a powerful thing but is terribly lacking in society, including the Church.

Honor – to hold in respect; esteem

Honor in Hebrew (kabowd) – dignity, reverence, glory

Honor in Greek (timaō and timē) – to estimate, fix the value, for the value of something belonging to one’s self,a valuing by which the price is fixed

Honor is bestowed by the value we see in something, or should I say someone. When I think of honor I think of how I see someone. My honoring someone or lack thereof shows where my value system lies and how my value system works. That is why one person can value and give honor to something or someone else and the next person has no honor or value for it. Pricelessness is in the eyes of the beholder.

In my childhood I used to bully and I was bullied. I was dishonored and I dishonored. I bestowed greater and lesser value based on my current viewpoint at the time. You see, honor is truly bestowed and not owed. Yes there are times where you give honor to whom honor is due (see Romans 13:7) but I’ll will talk more about that in another blog. Here I will speak about bestowing honor by placing value on another individual.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26 says

So the eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” Or again, the head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” But even more, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are necessary. And those parts of the body that we think to be less honorable, we clothe these with greater honor, and our unpresentable parts have a better presentation. But our presentable parts have no need of clothing. Instead, God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the less honorable, so that there would be no division in the body, but that the members would have the same concern for each other. So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

Here we see how God bestows greater honor on those parts which appear to be less honorable. God bestows honor and that which is not honored by others. To be bestowed with honor is to be set up and exposed by a conspiracy of grace. This is another reason why I love the prophetic. God picks you out in front of the rest of His Children and speaks to you honor, worth, value, precedence, and glory. It is a great feelings to be highlighted by my Father! To be called a vessel of honor in which you carry that which you didn’t carry before and can now pour honor onto others! It is awesome is the truest definition of the word. Philippians 2:3 speaks volumes

And you should not do anything with contention or empty glory, but in humility of mind, let every person esteem his neighbor as better than himself.

My best friend is writing a book entitled “Treasure in Certain Vessels” and I believe it is a message that should be heeded these days. Look out for it in the future.

It is very hard for people, me included, to really want to offer anything because oftentimes I don’t feel worth anything or that I don’t have anything of worth to offer. At my previous fellowship I was an usher for about 7 or so years but never really felt honored or worth anything but a body to volunteer while the big named people had the seats of honor and this was even more prevalent during conferences where there were big name speakers. Only those in “authority” were honored. Thankfully I’ve received almost complete healing but even today I have moments where I feel a twinge of rejection but that is a paradigm I will need to shift. Also growing up I, like most, children didn’t really have a voice. Didn’t have an opinion. Seen not heard kind of thing. I lost my voice/honor and only recently getting my voice back.

I would venture to say that most sheep feel, well, like sheep. A number that someone counts to try to fall asleep and in the end the sheep fall asleep themselves. But Jesus! John 10:2-3,14 declares

But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

I am the Good Shepherd; and I know and recognize My own, and My own know and recognize Me

For those who feel locked into secret places, God will begin to reward you openly! You have served, sown, volunteered, interceded, kept things close to your heart, been what seems as background noise, and not honored but God sees and is looking through His books and your deeds and your heart is ever before Him. Do not become weary for you will reap, just don’t give him. Honor despite not being honored. Bestow value even when value by others haven’t been bestowed on you. You will reap because God knows you by name! If you have been disregarded all your life and it seems like no one every sees you or honors then I remove all demonic and ungodly labels of religion, witchcraft, and worldly dishonor off of you in Jesus’ name! No more cloak of invisibility and I rebuke it and command it to be removed! No more dishonor of men! No more dishonor of women! No more dishonor of children and the unborn!There is neither male nor female but are one in Christ Jesus!

Receive honor by showing honor. Bestow value despite of the lack of value bestowed on you.

Here are a few clips that have really touched me and brought hope for current and future honor. Stories of honor and value. Some stories are fiction others are very real. Please watch them and I hope they touch you like they’ve touched me

Sooo the last clip shares just a little bit of the story between Paul Young’s mother and the Priest whose life she saved. I can’t seem to find the rest of the story. It used to be on YouTube but I just can’t find it. So I’ll share what I can remember. Paul Young’s mother goes to the Church that the priest pastors and visits. During the service it was communion time and, being as Paul Young’s mom wasn’t a member she couldn’t take communion, which she understood and was fine with. Near the end of the communion time the priest slowly walks down the aisles to the back row where she was sitting, kneels down and give the bread and wine to Paul Young’s mom in a beautiful act of honoring the woman who saved his life.

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Do you feel crippled and in hiding like Mephibosheth?

mephibosheth

2 Samuel 9  (NASB)

Then David said, “Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David; and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” And he said, “I am your servant.” The king said, “Is there not yet anyone of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?” And Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan who is crippled in both feet.” So the king said to him, “Where is he?” And Ziba said to the king, “Behold, he is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.” Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, from Lo-debar. Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, “Mephibosheth.” And he said, “Here is your servant!” David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly.” Again he prostrated himself and said, “What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?”

Then the king called Saul’s servant Ziba and said to him, “All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master’s grandson. 10 You and your sons and your servants shall cultivate the land for him, and you shall bring in the produce so that your master’s grandson may have food; nevertheless Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall eat at my table regularly.” Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. 11 Then Ziba said to the king, “According to all that my lord the king commands his servant so your servant will do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table as one of the king’s sons. 12 Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. And all who lived in the house of Ziba were servants to Mephibosheth. 13 So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate at the king’s table regularly. Now he was lame in both feet.

Yesterday during worship at church I was reminded by the Lord the story of Mephibosheth. How often I have felt like him. Crippled, helpless, subject to the care and needs of others(I’m not disabled). How he must have feared when Saul died because it was common for new kings to kill all direct descendants of the previous king. He ran, had to have help to run, from the new King David. Feared for his life in his crippled state. Defenseless. Broken.

For too long I was like the old Mephibosheth. Crippled by shame and addiction. Fearing the previous king(the enemy). But the new King came looking. He came looking for me. He sought me. He found me crippled and lame with shame, hurt, addiction, and with a false view of Him.

And He place me at His table! He prepared it for me! He cooked for me! He washed me feet…He washed my lameness away. He wiped and collected my tears. I became the new Mephibosheth. I place to eat at the King’s table forever. The King mephiboshethed me. Mephibosheth in Hebrew means exterminating the idol. He, my King, exterminated my idols. They fell to the King. He destroyed them.

When I was feeling this overwhelming love pursuit. I wanted to get on the mic and share with the congregation but I am microphone shy or more like freaked out (I know I am called to speak). The overwhelming love of the Father. How He searches us out. The Hound of Heaven as He has been described as.

WHO? WHO CAN I SHOW MERCY TO? That is who my God is! He searches for who He can show mercy to. Do you hear Him pleading? If not, then hear Him pleading through me…come out and let Him show you mercy! He wants you! He loves you with an everlasting love. He is not worried about your crippling or wounding or shame or even your anger with Him. He is looking for you and begging be reconciled! He loves you and He sees you….and He is running after to meet you in your mess with a robe and ring….with a huge feast prepared! YUM!!!! Have your fill!!!!

 

Elijah House Training completed!

inner healing

Thought I’d share that I recently received my Elijah House Prayer Ministry 202 certificate of completion! A year prior I completed the 201 class and received a certificate for that as well. It is my desire to get into this type of ministry.

Inner healing & deliverance is a passion of mine and I believe all of us could benefit from prayer ministry/counseling in our lives. It’s good to appropriate all He has done for us through the Five R’s:

Recognize

Confess and Repent

Release through Forgiveness

Reckon as Dead

Resurrect (bring to life)

I also believe in the Sozo ministry and Sapphire Leadership ministry along with Aslan’s Place ministry and Restoration in Christ ministry. I know there a many more out there but I only have exposure to the above listed. I believe that I should utilize as many tools as possible. It’s my desire to get into this type of ministry and am currently semi involved in Sozo and am in a part of a local Healing Rooms.

All of these are based off the finished work of Christ and shed blood from the garden of Gethsemane to the Cross and the resurrection and ascension of Christ. I believe Inner Healing should, generally speaking, be done prior to deliverance. Remove the garbage and the flies leave by default. I do not believe there are demons under every rock….but sometimes they are under every other rock.

That is all 🙂

 

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