Random

this is where i’m at…but i digress

Greetings,

It’s been awhile. Five months. Joyful times and trying times. Aimless yet hopeful. Aiming yet unsure of a target.

I know I’m not alone. I don’t know which was worse. When I was in my early 20’s I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was solely present-minded but not in a good way. No prospects, aspirations, or dreams. Now in my mid 30’s I feel like I know what I want to do yet it’s either too lofty or grasping for the wind. I moved to a big city (Philadelphia) thinking I would find something of substance but, as of yet, nothing. Don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying many aspects of Philadelphia like the food, activities, sights, street fairs, brews, etc. But I haven’t really found my place. I didn’t find my place where I previously lived either but that was due to other factors like family drama and passive aggressive family member going behind my back to break my then girlfriend now wife apart. I needed out of there. Now we are thinking of moving elsewhere in a few years. I’d like to live in a city where I don’t have to fear school aged children while walking across them on the street since they like to randomly attack people but I digress.

I also have an issue with shame, lack of self-confidence, latent anger, jealousy, etc. I can’t even count how many times I’ve threatened to delete my blog since apparently no one cares when I share them on Social Media. I did delete my blog’s FB page due to lack of any traffic. I desperately want to fit in and be not only accepted but approved and honored and celebrated, which some may say is unhealthy. But I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy. We are all individuals seeking to make our own stamp on the world but within a community of mutual respect and honor. I have yet found said community. The current fellowship I go to was amounting to a great church with people who looked after others and attempted community but found out, though I probably am judging with incomplete knowledge, there is community but the usual clique type community. Popular, hipster, millennial types. Church is less about being a community but more about serving the community. Church is life to some but that just isn’t my flavor. I love openness and togetherness. Diversity in community where every single person has a voice and something to offer, not as a commodity, but as an integral stone is the church God Himself is building that is outside four walls or a fog machine. I’m just being honest and may offend some but I feel it needs to be said. I mean why would believers need to schedule time to just chill only if nothing is happening at Church? Can we just hang out without it being scheduled in the Church’s bulletin or FB event? But I digress.

Back to shame and such. I know that everyone won’t honor everyone and everyone isn’t the QB/Pastor who gets all the attention and gifts and support. There are a lot of us on the line who protect, serve, and support those who say they care but hard to see it in action. On the flip side even public honor of another can be done as an honor to one’s self. I recently wanted a clip of a church who ordered pizza and made the delivery person come on stage and give a $100 tip. I mean, hey, I’d take a $100 tip but it seems—though I can’t judge their heart—that when you have to do it on stage with a radio voice and give it $10 a time to emphasize how great it is just seams…inauthentic.

It’s not wonder that Arthur Burk has teaching about Life After Church because so many people are leaving the institutional church for real community. Where everyone has a voice and not just the QB who wins the MVP. What if all the corner churches and mega churches stopped having Sunday morning services where we hear one sermon rehashed from last year and heard what the whole body has to say. What if what Joe has to say will set Paul free but will never hear because the “Man Of God” is the only one anointed? What if rest were actually practiced in fellowship? What is noise did not equal worship? What if sunday’s sermon did not equal intimacy with God? What if we, as a body of believers, actually starting growing up and fending for ourselves? What if we left the milk behind and ventured towards the carving block for a good slice of prime rib? But I digress.

Back to shame and such again. I want to be a celebrated individual within non commoditized community. What if honor is based and not placed. What if we honored people based upon God’s innate nature within them and not a false honor placed on someone due to their gifts or what we can get from them? We each have intrinsic value which reflects the nature of God. I sick of this more of God less of me bullshit. That was specifically regarding John the Baptist’s ministry. It must be more of God and more of me because I am an heir of God and co-heir with Christ. We are laden with guilt in the form of false humility. We have a glory people! Jesus has given us the glory to God gave to him and until we see ourselves and other that way the shame that I struggle with will continue to be a struggle. We…I…continue to resurrect the dead old man and live the law that we can’t fulfill. But I digress.

So what do I want for myself and family? Above all else to be where God wants us. To find our place as living stones in the river of God on this earth. I feel called to prayer ministry and teaching and writing(all of which will probably never pay the bills). I also would absolutely love to create a retreat for those who are living the above. Where they can come where there are no schedule or calendars. No pressure or stress to server or entertain others. A place of community where solitude and engagement with others are equally celebrated and supported. For the leader or the layperson, the pastor or the usher. The person who sits in the back pew or red cushioned chair with the plastic caps on the end of the chair backs. Where the communion table is not a preserved “grape” juice and paper wafer but a table of conversations and real food. A place where there are no positions, offices, denominations, or titles. A place where a suit and tie doesn’t make you more spiritual and a shirt and cargo shorts doesn’t make you “less religious”. Pretense and pretentious free. Where numbers don’t matter and intimacy isn’t on a scale to be judged by others. But I digress.

It’s hard to be in a holding pattern. Not knowing where you are or where to go can be quite frustrating. I can only do what I know to do until I know to do differently. I’ll work my IT job for as long as I need to. It’s not my passion but I’m doing it. I wish I could be one of those who never have to work a day of their life’s meaning their vocation is their passion and they are good at it. I want to also have a nice sized family and be able to provide for my wife all she needs and wants. I above all else want us to be and to do it together as a team. But so far I feel a failure at most of it right now. I’m overweight, not making monetarily what I need to have a family, don’t have a suitable house for a family, live in a city where it’s hard to raise a family, and hard to find encouragement to get to where I need to be. Like most men it’s hard to need somebody else. But that’s what I need. I wish I could find someone who can be a mentor in my life. Someone has the time and mutual bond to do so. I just really need encouragement. But I digress.

Thanks to those who’ve read till here. This post has really been a mixture of emotions, thoughts, ramblings, and heartaches. Deep down I am hopeful and optimistic. At the same time I’m fearful how others will react to this post but here goes nothing…but I digress.

 

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Copyright March by: Jordan Gresczyk

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Thank You!!!

I just posted this on my Facebook page:

It’s amazing how many people can be reached via Social Media. My first blog post was posted January 27th, 2014. Since then I’ve reached 167 countries! I have 1,539 followers and have had 47,024 views and counting! With 2,480 Likes and 799 comments I’m amazed from those who support me in this. I’ve grown and am growing everyday and I seek and dig in the Scripture. But all those numbers don’t matter in the end. If the Lord wants someone like me or you to write and only He sees it and is pleased than that is all the matters! Thanks again!

I want to thank all my followers and readers. Thank you for reading, liking, sharing, commenting, and praying. And I want to thank my Father in Heaven for creating me as a builder and no longer a consumer. As a Teacher redemptive gift, it has been a joy to dig deep and seek questions to answers that some have and some have never thought to ask.

If you want to sow into this blog and ministry you can do so below. Thank you all!

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I’ve Started a YouTube Channel!

This was kind of birthed through doing ministry with an individual. We weren’t able to connect via phone one week so I decided to create a YouTube video…and then it dawned on me, I should create a YouTube channel. So I did!

It will mostly be simple prayers to bless your spirit. I will also include soul and body blessings as well as other prayers and possible rambles.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOQ1-RJJckEiKTmBVYNIg-g is the link to my channel. If you have a YouTube account you can subscribe and get notifications when I post a new video. Starting out the quality of the video won’t be the best but the quality of the content in the video will be great.

I’ve posted prayers in my blogs but sometimes it helps to have someone pray them out loud over you so that’s why I wanted to start the channel.

God Bless!

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 17,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

If interested click above. To all that have read, commented, likes, shared, re-blogged, I thank from the bottom of my heart. May 2016 continue forward with revelation, insight, inner healing, deliverance, repentance, maturity, and sonship all by God’s grace, mercy, power, and discipline.

Things have been a tad foggy…I could use a little help

I’m not one to ask for help. Could be my maleness or my Polishness; unsure at this point. It could very well be my soul vying for dominion because God knows the soul has had the throne uncontested for some time. I feel in my spirit a satisfaction that comes from knowing the affection of my Heavenly Father regardless of activity. My soul has the need for affirmation and perfection, both of which will never come outside of Him. Right now the soul is pinning down the spirit and the count is two with one second left to spare. It may be a last-ditch effort to show the spirit who is boss…at that is where you may come in.

I have 9 blogs in draft, one being a short story, and a two books held in my spirit: a novel and non-fiction. At the moment time is the commodity in need, even though Ravel and Rachmaninoff stole some of it when it was available. So far 100% of my blogs have been written in the midst of turmoil; the turmoil of my job. I work an IT help desk job so I am on and off the phone all day and attempt to write in the between. When I go home I tend to thwart all needs for a computer. All writers know “writer’s block” and loathe it at times. I struggle with that as well.

I am not a popular blogger and don’t have hundreds of likes, shares, or views but that doesn’t matter. This blog is more for me than you but I do it for you more than me (if that makes any sense at all). I am asking for prayer. That I would access the time I have and that it would be redeemed. Also that this last-ditch effort of the soul would be thwarted by an even stronger reversal from my spirit (after all the spirit loves the soul much than the soul loves the spirit (at least according the soul’s current view-point)). That any all fog would lift.

I’m also “planning” on moving to another state and city both of which are Teacher redemptive gift which I also am a Teacher redemptive gift (see http://www.sandylandry.com/) There is an immense blessing that would come with this and an immense ability to respond and redeem the negatives that can also creep in. I could use prayer for a job for my wife and I that could make for a much smoother transition being as I am not moving for work but for God’s leading. He’s provided before and I know He will provide again.

I’m learning and filling myself up with much teaching and tools that I need and that I can minister to others with. As a Teacher I am prone to want to get every teaching, listen to every sermon, or read every book I can on a subject. This can be good but at the same time could take up that commodity called time. I had some responses from my blog: I’d Love To Help In Any Way I Can and so far fruit has come out of it. Prayer points for that would be increased wisdom, discernment, and insight.

In the midst of great things happening things can still get foggy. Please pray that either the fog will lift our for my spirit to focus on the Light in the midst of it. I also am Asthmatic, which sucks, and dealing with panic/stress related feelings in my body both of which I’m looking for insight into healing and deliverance from. I’m also overweight so I need some healthy discipline and self-control in that area. Both Asthma and panic/stress issue hold me back from exercise. The other day I was listening to two individuals who love Jesus but are riddled with health issues and it breaks my heart that surviving is so hard using artificial and fabricated medicines. “White knuckling” life in the midst of a promised abundant life. I wanted to weep and I’m welling up slightly recalling the conversation.

Above all I want a more intimate walk with my Daddy, Dad, Father, and King. To walk in full Sonship. To hear, feel, see, and experience Him more fully. That my spirit would rise to dominion and my soul would finally rest in submission to my spirit and that the full transfiguration process would continue to progress as I look with an unveiled face.

Thank you and God bless!

PS: thank you to those who have sown into my blog with finances, prayer, likes, comments, encouragement, and admonishment. I know change is happening in you and I and I’m blessed to be a part of it. It is this that spurs me onward.

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101 things I…

…love, like, have learned, want to learn, haven’t learned, and a few random things and quotes for your possible enjoyment in no particular order.

  1. I like predatory birds hence my feature image
  2. I have had a couple prophetic dreams of said predatory birds
  3. I would love to try by hand at falconry (It’s a lost art form)
  4. I like food. It is interesting to note that food was used before music in Old Testament worship. Also communion in the New Testament was a table full of food and not a dissolvable wafer with Welch’s cup worth a half a sip. Also wine was used hence some being drunk.
  5. I would love to study Quantum Physics
  6. I wish I could see in the spiritual realm better. Like Quantum Physics there is much more to the spiritual realm that doesn’t mean the natural eye. If the natural world was created out of Christ and is His taste then I must conclude that the spiritual realm is much, much more intricate, expansive, deeper, and higher than the seen.
  7. I have learned the reality of the human spirit and am learning the proper structure of spirit, soul, body relationship and how the spirit is to have dominion.
  8. When talking about God or praying almost always using the word “Father.” To me it seems much more relational and put things into perspective.
  9. God loves me and likes me. I’m His friend and brother. If Jesus even calls Judas “Friend” than He must be pretty intentional when He calls anyone something. (See Matthew 26:50)
  10. I’m a son and not a slave
  11. God turned a person who hated reading and writing into a man who loves reading and writing. Or should I say He breathed upon a fire within me which I didn’t know existed?
  12. I want to write a book. Two or more to be precise. One novel and one non-fiction.
  13. Also want to try my hand at writing a short story on this blog. I’ve done one poem (See Awake)
  14. Sometime God’s mercy is getting a little bit of what you deserve (See Galatians 6:7)
  15. I believe I am Teacher Redemptive Gift (See this link and this link I can’t vouch for anything else on these sites)
  16. I struggle with dream interpretation however I can be very prophetic at times
  17. I firmly believe Jesus is coming back for a beautiful, overcoming bride and not a struggling fearful church
  18. If I go to the Scriptures to find out who everyone else instead of myself my agenda is skewed
  19. I love the idea of living and loving without an agenda but my analytic reasoning messes with me regarding the statement. In other words if I am living and loving without an agenda is my agenda living and loving without one? I know, confusing isn’t it? I mean my assessment of the statement.
  20. The “New Age” has done its best at perverting divine truths, principles, and ideas and have stolen them for their own gain…because the Church has abandoned things unseen.
  21. God won’t set you up for failure…unless that is what you need.
  22. We live for an Audience of One where the praises at our right hand and criticism at our left meaning nothing
  23. However if I shun the voice of my family I may set myself up for that failure in #21
  24. A wise man loves the taste of his own medicine
  25. You know you are a Pharisee if your life’s motto is “Do as I say, not as I do” – A Graham Cookeism fashioned from my own mind
  26. The Kingdom of Heaven is like a polished stone
  27. God has not only given me grace but has lavished it upon me and you. (See Lavished!)
  28. I oftentimes utilize Google for word definitions and right click and choose correct spelling when I see those annoying red squiggly lines under my misspelled words
  29. Problems are a prerequisite for a revelation from God
  30. Shame is a dirty mirror. Never let it determine the image you see
  31. I am not wretch but a saint
  32. Romans 7 is not the life of a Christian battling sin but a believer who doesn’t know they are dead to the law
  33. I love useless knowledge. It sometimes actually helps but most of the time is works in jokes
  34. I wished I lived in NYC…but at the same time I wish I lived in a log cabin in the woods
  35. When it comes to intercession I lean towards undercover sniper style and not front line in your face style
  36. I am curious as to the spiritual implications of the “Baby Witching Hour”
  37. The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn’t exist – The Usual Suspects
  38. I had a dream with an old pastor of mine where he said I am an exquisitor. Looked it up and fits me to a T.
  39. I curious as to why after God changed Jacob’s name to Israel, He still referred to him as Jacob at times
  40. If I knew I couldn’t fail I would pray and minister to all in the Mental Health Wards that they would get total freedom
  41. I would also, if I knew I wouldn’t fail, love to be able to prophetically find all missing and abducted people to help the authorities find them
  42. I sometimes think the same way that Walter Mitty does
  43. God allows in His wisdom what He could easily prevent by His power – Graham Cooke
  44. I feel called to teach in front of churches but am terrified of public speaking
  45. I used to write Rap songs 5 years ago (they can still be found online) and still want to write more at times
  46. 1 John 4:17 is my life verse. Still learning and pondering the implications of it
  47. I love language. I would love to learn more of Spanish. Also Polish, Hebrew, Greek, and Mandarin
  48. I love some reality TV shows. The ones where people finally get recognized for talents and gifts that they have spent years and years to get by training and building themselves. It may seem superficial at first but we have a desire to be recognized and make a difference. This is why I love Prophecy!
  49. I would love to be in full-time inner healing & deliverance ministry…not the “demon under every rock” kinda deliverance
  50. Some times I play both sides of the field and by taking both sides of an argument and try to find middle ground.
  51. There is a difference between wrestling with God and fighting against God
  52. I am coming to the belief that we can and will be transfigured just like Jesus was…before any rapture(if that even happens) or when Jesus comes back physically
  53. There is more to us than meets the eye – Transformers
  54. I want to travel the world. I love cultures and I believe God created many different cultures
  55. I’m not a fan of the term “counter-culture”
  56. I believe that when Jesus said He only does what He sees the Father doing that He meant it…including going to the cross
  57. I believe soul ties are real…and have recently learned about spirit ties
  58. I love Pit Bulls and I don’t believe in breed discrimination
  59. I also believe in generational deliverance and blessing
  60. Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception – what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms – what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn’t make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. – Wm. Paul Young
  61. I wonder if this is true
  62. I’m not a big Old Testament reader however my usual bible reading, when I do regularly read, includes Psalms and Proverbs and New Testament epistles
  63. I’m finding it hard to come up with 101 things…
  64. Forgive me for making my denomination the denominator and not the numerator – from Please Forgive Me
  65. Triangulation is a relationship killer (See He Said She Said)
  66. I don’t like the term “God wants to use you”
  67. God’s desire and your necessity are co-laboring in your problem to manifest His promise
  68. Never assume tone in text, social media messages/comments, or emails. Only an emoji can determine somewhat of the tone
  69. I believe God came as a Father because a Father is what was/is needed most (See Why A Father?)
  70. God is making Josephs, fathers to Pharaohs and making Moseses like God to Pharaohs
  71. My needs need to transfigured into glorious stepping stones. My wants need to be there without the gravitational pull of disappointment. For I do have an appointment but until Presence cuts the veil I remain living with God in the present with His Presence with an expectancy of future Promise. – When Needs Overcome Wants
  72. I am learning what Church is all about and what is it’s meaning
  73. I find it hard to recognize people no longer after the flesh…especially when driving
  74. I’m tired of the Schisms in the Isms
  75. God’s wisdom is truly multi-colored and multi-faceted
  76. The incarnation is the single most beautiful and inviting thing to have ever happened in all of history. That the God who we kept distant, broke through our preconceived notions and obliterated our false views of Himself. We denied Him access to ourselves yet came inviting us to Himself.
  77. Fruit is the foundation for the gifts to have their full and safest expression
  78. I’m frustrated that I don’t know what my recurring dreams mean
  79. The stories of Mephibosheth and Joshua the High Priest bring me to tears
  80. I am trained and certified in Sozo, Healing Rooms, and Elijah House ministry. I also glean a lot of teaching from Arthur Burk and Paul Cox
  81. Past anointing and mantles are simply taking the baton and fulfilling and perfecting what God is already doing or wanted to do
  82. Habitation requires a habitat. Creating a place by making it ready to receive what it was designed for. This is what the Church is about. There is an interesting word in the Greek and it is, hetoimazō, which means to make the necessary preparations, get everything ready and drawn from the oriental custom of sending on, before kings on their journeys, persons to level the roads and make them passable. This word is used for John the Baptist preparing a way in the wilderness (see Mark 1:3) and the Bride of Christ making herself ready (see Rev. 19:7). We also see it in how Jesus prepares a place for us so that we can dwell where He is (see John 14:3).
  83. I’ve learned to read the Scripture to find out who God is and who I am…not who the enemy is or the who the Anti-Christ is
  84. I love living in mystery…except when I don’t
  85. I want unity in the worldwide Church. One accord in Acts means to rush along in unison and resembles a musical piece. Several notes combine to form one song.
  86. I always wonder why my name, Jordan, meant. Then God told me. Possessor
  87. I believe in Presence before and over Promise no matter how hard life can be
  88. Inner vows can be a hard pill to swallow
  89. Speaking life is much better than speaking death…even to speaking death to bad things. Life is much better
  90. I firmly believe God shares, is sharing, and will share His glory
  91. Four years ago I didn’t want to live another day because of shame and was almost suicidal…then God broke through with a prophetic word of encouragement
  92. God also broke a huge period of rejection in my life. I used to never have a strong group of friend in school so I didn’t have a lunch table to sit at. A year or so ago I had a vision of this same cafeteria room and Jesus waved me over and gave me a head seat at His table. Now whenever I don’t have a table or no one sits at the table I’m at I just remember Jesus gives me a good seat all the time
  93. God gave me an incredible wife that has seen me through darkness, sin, and despair. I’m a better man because of her
  94. I’m an athletic man in a fat man’s body…#4 get in my way too many times
  95. I feel much younger than 31 years old
  96. I may move to Philadelphia next year in which #4 may get in my way too since Cheesesteaks are my favorite
  97. I’m bad with keeping up with old relationships or any relationship that isn’t right in front of me
  98. My favorite music is rap
  99. I’ve been sober for 11 years
  100. My dream car is a Subaru WRX STI
  101. I’m a huge work in progress and I have barely scratched the surface of the revelation of God to man and man to God