Honor

this is where i’m at…but i digress

Greetings,

It’s been awhile. Five months. Joyful times and trying times. Aimless yet hopeful. Aiming yet unsure of a target.

I know I’m not alone. I don’t know which was worse. When I was in my early 20’s I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was solely present-minded but not in a good way. No prospects, aspirations, or dreams. Now in my mid 30’s I feel like I know what I want to do yet it’s either too lofty or grasping for the wind. I moved to a big city (Philadelphia) thinking I would find something of substance but, as of yet, nothing. Don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying many aspects of Philadelphia like the food, activities, sights, street fairs, brews, etc. But I haven’t really found my place. I didn’t find my place where I previously lived either but that was due to other factors like family drama and passive aggressive family member going behind my back to break my then girlfriend now wife apart. I needed out of there. Now we are thinking of moving elsewhere in a few years. I’d like to live in a city where I don’t have to fear school aged children while walking across them on the street since they like to randomly attack people but I digress.

I also have an issue with shame, lack of self-confidence, latent anger, jealousy, etc. I can’t even count how many times I’ve threatened to delete my blog since apparently no one cares when I share them on Social Media. I did delete my blog’s FB page due to lack of any traffic. I desperately want to fit in and be not only accepted but approved and honored and celebrated, which some may say is unhealthy. But I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy. We are all individuals seeking to make our own stamp on the world but within a community of mutual respect and honor. I have yet found said community. The current fellowship I go to was amounting to a great church with people who looked after others and attempted community but found out, though I probably am judging with incomplete knowledge, there is community but the usual clique type community. Popular, hipster, millennial types. Church is less about being a community but more about serving the community. Church is life to some but that just isn’t my flavor. I love openness and togetherness. Diversity in community where every single person has a voice and something to offer, not as a commodity, but as an integral stone is the church God Himself is building that is outside four walls or a fog machine. I’m just being honest and may offend some but I feel it needs to be said. I mean why would believers need to schedule time to just chill only if nothing is happening at Church? Can we just hang out without it being scheduled in the Church’s bulletin or FB event? But I digress.

Back to shame and such. I know that everyone won’t honor everyone and everyone isn’t the QB/Pastor who gets all the attention and gifts and support. There are a lot of us on the line who protect, serve, and support those who say they care but hard to see it in action. On the flip side even public honor of another can be done as an honor to one’s self. I recently wanted a clip of a church who ordered pizza and made the delivery person come on stage and give a $100 tip. I mean, hey, I’d take a $100 tip but it seems—though I can’t judge their heart—that when you have to do it on stage with a radio voice and give it $10 a time to emphasize how great it is just seams…inauthentic.

It’s not wonder that Arthur Burk has teaching about Life After Church because so many people are leaving the institutional church for real community. Where everyone has a voice and not just the QB who wins the MVP. What if all the corner churches and mega churches stopped having Sunday morning services where we hear one sermon rehashed from last year and heard what the whole body has to say. What if what Joe has to say will set Paul free but will never hear because the “Man Of God” is the only one anointed? What if rest were actually practiced in fellowship? What is noise did not equal worship? What if sunday’s sermon did not equal intimacy with God? What if we, as a body of believers, actually starting growing up and fending for ourselves? What if we left the milk behind and ventured towards the carving block for a good slice of prime rib? But I digress.

Back to shame and such again. I want to be a celebrated individual within non commoditized community. What if honor is based and not placed. What if we honored people based upon God’s innate nature within them and not a false honor placed on someone due to their gifts or what we can get from them? We each have intrinsic value which reflects the nature of God. I sick of this more of God less of me bullshit. That was specifically regarding John the Baptist’s ministry. It must be more of God and more of me because I am an heir of God and co-heir with Christ. We are laden with guilt in the form of false humility. We have a glory people! Jesus has given us the glory to God gave to him and until we see ourselves and other that way the shame that I struggle with will continue to be a struggle. We…I…continue to resurrect the dead old man and live the law that we can’t fulfill. But I digress.

So what do I want for myself and family? Above all else to be where God wants us. To find our place as living stones in the river of God on this earth. I feel called to prayer ministry and teaching and writing(all of which will probably never pay the bills). I also would absolutely love to create a retreat for those who are living the above. Where they can come where there are no schedule or calendars. No pressure or stress to server or entertain others. A place of community where solitude and engagement with others are equally celebrated and supported. For the leader or the layperson, the pastor or the usher. The person who sits in the back pew or red cushioned chair with the plastic caps on the end of the chair backs. Where the communion table is not a preserved “grape” juice and paper wafer but a table of conversations and real food. A place where there are no positions, offices, denominations, or titles. A place where a suit and tie doesn’t make you more spiritual and a shirt and cargo shorts doesn’t make you “less religious”. Pretense and pretentious free. Where numbers don’t matter and intimacy isn’t on a scale to be judged by others. But I digress.

It’s hard to be in a holding pattern. Not knowing where you are or where to go can be quite frustrating. I can only do what I know to do until I know to do differently. I’ll work my IT job for as long as I need to. It’s not my passion but I’m doing it. I wish I could be one of those who never have to work a day of their life’s meaning their vocation is their passion and they are good at it. I want to also have a nice sized family and be able to provide for my wife all she needs and wants. I above all else want us to be and to do it together as a team. But so far I feel a failure at most of it right now. I’m overweight, not making monetarily what I need to have a family, don’t have a suitable house for a family, live in a city where it’s hard to raise a family, and hard to find encouragement to get to where I need to be. Like most men it’s hard to need somebody else. But that’s what I need. I wish I could find someone who can be a mentor in my life. Someone has the time and mutual bond to do so. I just really need encouragement. But I digress.

Thanks to those who’ve read till here. This post has really been a mixture of emotions, thoughts, ramblings, and heartaches. Deep down I am hopeful and optimistic. At the same time I’m fearful how others will react to this post but here goes nothing…but I digress.

 

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Copyright March by: Jordan Gresczyk

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The Power Of Honor

honor

Honor is a powerful thing but is terribly lacking in society, including the Church.

Honor – to hold in respect; esteem

Honor in Hebrew (kabowd) – dignity, reverence, glory

Honor in Greek (timaō and timē) – to estimate, fix the value, for the value of something belonging to one’s self,a valuing by which the price is fixed

Honor is bestowed by the value we see in something, or should I say someone. When I think of honor I think of how I see someone. My honoring someone or lack thereof shows where my value system lies and how my value system works. That is why one person can value and give honor to something or someone else and the next person has no honor or value for it. Pricelessness is in the eyes of the beholder.

In my childhood I used to bully and I was bullied. I was dishonored and I dishonored. I bestowed greater and lesser value based on my current viewpoint at the time. You see, honor is truly bestowed and not owed. Yes there are times where you give honor to whom honor is due (see Romans 13:7) but I’ll will talk more about that in another blog. Here I will speak about bestowing honor by placing value on another individual.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26 says

So the eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” Or again, the head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” But even more, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are necessary. And those parts of the body that we think to be less honorable, we clothe these with greater honor, and our unpresentable parts have a better presentation. But our presentable parts have no need of clothing. Instead, God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the less honorable, so that there would be no division in the body, but that the members would have the same concern for each other. So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

Here we see how God bestows greater honor on those parts which appear to be less honorable. God bestows honor and that which is not honored by others. To be bestowed with honor is to be set up and exposed by a conspiracy of grace. This is another reason why I love the prophetic. God picks you out in front of the rest of His Children and speaks to you honor, worth, value, precedence, and glory. It is a great feelings to be highlighted by my Father! To be called a vessel of honor in which you carry that which you didn’t carry before and can now pour honor onto others! It is awesome is the truest definition of the word. Philippians 2:3 speaks volumes

And you should not do anything with contention or empty glory, but in humility of mind, let every person esteem his neighbor as better than himself.

My best friend is writing a book entitled “Treasure in Certain Vessels” and I believe it is a message that should be heeded these days. Look out for it in the future.

It is very hard for people, me included, to really want to offer anything because oftentimes I don’t feel worth anything or that I don’t have anything of worth to offer. At my previous fellowship I was an usher for about 7 or so years but never really felt honored or worth anything but a body to volunteer while the big named people had the seats of honor and this was even more prevalent during conferences where there were big name speakers. Only those in “authority” were honored. Thankfully I’ve received almost complete healing but even today I have moments where I feel a twinge of rejection but that is a paradigm I will need to shift. Also growing up I, like most, children didn’t really have a voice. Didn’t have an opinion. Seen not heard kind of thing. I lost my voice/honor and only recently getting my voice back.

I would venture to say that most sheep feel, well, like sheep. A number that someone counts to try to fall asleep and in the end the sheep fall asleep themselves. But Jesus! John 10:2-3,14 declares

But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

I am the Good Shepherd; and I know and recognize My own, and My own know and recognize Me

For those who feel locked into secret places, God will begin to reward you openly! You have served, sown, volunteered, interceded, kept things close to your heart, been what seems as background noise, and not honored but God sees and is looking through His books and your deeds and your heart is ever before Him. Do not become weary for you will reap, just don’t give him. Honor despite not being honored. Bestow value even when value by others haven’t been bestowed on you. You will reap because God knows you by name! If you have been disregarded all your life and it seems like no one every sees you or honors then I remove all demonic and ungodly labels of religion, witchcraft, and worldly dishonor off of you in Jesus’ name! No more cloak of invisibility and I rebuke it and command it to be removed! No more dishonor of men! No more dishonor of women! No more dishonor of children and the unborn!There is neither male nor female but are one in Christ Jesus!

Receive honor by showing honor. Bestow value despite of the lack of value bestowed on you.

Here are a few clips that have really touched me and brought hope for current and future honor. Stories of honor and value. Some stories are fiction others are very real. Please watch them and I hope they touch you like they’ve touched me

Sooo the last clip shares just a little bit of the story between Paul Young’s mother and the Priest whose life she saved. I can’t seem to find the rest of the story. It used to be on YouTube but I just can’t find it. So I’ll share what I can remember. Paul Young’s mother goes to the Church that the priest pastors and visits. During the service it was communion time and, being as Paul Young’s mom wasn’t a member she couldn’t take communion, which she understood and was fine with. Near the end of the communion time the priest slowly walks down the aisles to the back row where she was sitting, kneels down and give the bread and wine to Paul Young’s mom in a beautiful act of honoring the woman who saved his life.

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