Encouragement

What to Do when you don’t know what to Do

This may sound strange coming from a man but…I love reality shows. Well not all reality shows but certain ones hold some value. Not those silly Survivor, Jersey Shore, and other weird ones. My two favorites are The Voice and So You Think You Can Dance. I tear up when I experience seeing someone who is somewhat hidden now blossoming into their gift. I absolutely love honor, dignity, and being noticed. This article could go very religious in that I could talk about vanity, God’s glory versus man’s, and the other arguments against, well whatever religious people hate about random things but I’m want to come from a different vantage point.

Like I said above, seeing someone be recognized for their gift and honor moves my spirit and soul to a deep place within me. However, if you’re like me, than you’ve tried many things to find “what you’re good at” and have  yet to hit the mark. I played Soccer as a kid (who hasn’t) and then tried baseball one summer then went on to play football for a losing team on a local community league. I then played JV football at high school (nobody gets cut there) then got cut in 11th grade for Varsity football because I was more of a soft-spoken, laid back type of gent. I didn’t care much about school nor about the future. My siblings were excellent hockey players who went on to play pro roller hockey but not me. I liked pot and video games. Then when I was 20 I (re)dedicated my life to Jesus. Got free from pot yet still entangled with self-worth issues.

You see I had trouble individuating when I was younger. I wasn’t really great at one thing. Sure I was semi good at soccer, in baseball I couldn’t hit the ball for the life of me, and in football I wasn’t as aggressive as I should have been. I actually tried out for hockey once but made the B team and then dropped out. I wasn’t good at any particular subject in school though I enjoyed Home EC and the Sciences in general. I absolutely hated reading and writing was a close second. I couldn’t sing, dance, or play an instrument (I tried learning guitar many years back as an adult but threw my “Idiots Guide to Playing Guitar” book away after it demanded I learn to read music) so that was a bust. I even wrote and recorded rap songs (which can still be found online) when I had a lot of free time on my hands. I wasn’t good at it, though I thought the lyrics were on point and held several meanings often. I did not have an education so I went into the family business of carpentry. I was fairly good at that. I do have a strong attention to detail, when I want to, so that helped in that field. Left that field went to other labor work of delivering mattresses and then working at a major toy company’s distribution center. After working 10 hour shifts on concrete floors and working 10 hour shifts during a 12 day stretch twice during Christmas season I had enough of that riff raff. I then took classes at a local community college to help study for three different computer certifications. That was over 4 years ago and I only have 2 out of 3 certifications…in a field where I don’t find fulfillment or gratification. Then I started studying and reading about inner healing & deliverance concepts and I’m hooked. It fascinates me to no end. That and psychology as well. Abnormal psychology to be exact. My new venture is writing. For a person who abhorred reading and writing to become an avid reader and writer is interesting to say the least. The verdict (mine, God’s, and those who read it) is still out on writing. I  also find immense fulfillment is doing prayer ministry in the limited time I do it. If would do it full-time if it were to be economically viable one day. I still have my doubts, which is something I’m pondering in my spirit and my soul, if this is what God has for me or not. Looking back I wish I went to college for Christian counseling but some things weren’t meant to be I suppose. Even at 33 years old I’m still individuating.  Still investigating to find my niche. Still trying to “Do” while finding out what I’m suppose to “Do.”

What I wrote above is probably not foreign to many of you. The only difference is that you may be 20, 40, or 50 and above and still not know. Mid-life crisis anyone? Most of us in waiting have to do what we  have to do to survive and pay bills and most hobbies are to kill time. We are swamped with responsibilities and somewhat forced into fields that don’t fulfill. To those who love what they do and get fulfillment and get paid we all envy you or at least I do. Now here’s the rub…what do you do when you don’t know what to do.

We must reconcile our past and present with God’s truth over us. And to borrow Graham Cooke’s quote, “We must bring the future into today.” The foundation for any “Doing” comes from “Being.” Character is the foundation where fulfillment can be built. When you live in and with fulfillment, the problem of problems diminishes. Problems become a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Fulfillment bends the will of the problem in your favor wherein problems become but a servant to a master. Fulfillment comes when God’s design, imprinted in your spirit, meets the works that were prepared for it. So here are a few places needing to be addressed.

  • Time
  • Land
  • Agreements
  • Surroundings

I’ll attempt to explain these as short and concise as possible. Remember there is no shame or condemnation just reconciliation and alignment.

Time

How many of you have been asked the question, “If you were living in a different time when would it be and why?” It’s a great ice breaker in small groups. But how many actually wish they lived in a different time? When we reject the point in time we are in now we reject God’s very own placement of us. We can see God’s time set for all of us in Acts 17:26 which says, “And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their lands and territories.” You see here that God determines the time in which we will live. If we have rejected our time then we must repent and ask God to forgive us. Some have trauma related to time (good teaching here) and some have even cursed their conception and birth like Job (Job 3:3). Still others have actually had their time switch and manipulated through occult activity and SRA. If that is the case God can and will reorient us back to His original timeline for us. When we come to a place where we accept when we are then we can look at the where we are.

Land

Land is an interesting one. There is not much teaching on land in the body of Christ. But if you were to do a word search the word “land” is used in the KJV you’ll find it used 1,717 times in 1,489 verses. Most, I’m sure, are simply talking about land in general but if you look deeper and read all that within the Scripture you’ll see that land plays a big role. As we see in the Acts verse above God appoints land and territories. God appointed land to Adam & Eve, Moses, and Abraham. The only way these people could live out their destiny is to be on the right land. There are deeper dynamics to land (good teaching here) but I’ll queue you in on one. 2 Chron. 7:14 says, “and My people, who are called by My Name, humble themselves, and pray and seek (crave, require as a necessity) My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.” We’ve all heard this verse but how many have glossed over the ending? I know I have for years but it shows that God wants to heal land. And, like a lot of things, the New Age has stolen and perverted due to the Church leaving a vacuum of not address the whole counsel of God.

When it comes to us and land there are generally two current realities. One is that we are on the land God wants us on or we are not on the land God wants us on. If the former is true and you agree with the Lord than awesome. All is well on the land aspect. If the former, then there are a few reasons. One is that we reject where God wants us just like the time aspect above. Two is that we are not on the land but are moving towards it like Moses and Abraham. Three is that we are dynamic in our land relationship. We go in and out with bondage or we go in and out with freedom. If in bondage, than we are being pulled away by the enemy, ourselves, or trauma but are fighting to stay in. If in freedom, than we accept our land but also know that God has things for us in temporary land placement. To reconcile the where we must again repent for rejecting the land where we are and to ask the Lord if we are on the right land now and if not where to go. God may not say exactly but He may move you to a different city or state like He did to me. We should also ask God about the current land to cleanse it and mine it for God’s treasures (gardeners will understand).

Agreements

We all make agreements as we go through life. Some we vocalize while other we internalize. Both can be labeled “Inner Vows“. Another good article on this is “What is the Soundtrack to Your Story“. When we make agreements on our current life situations, we enforce and solidify the mentality and emotional reactions which then cloud and distort future life situations. That means the past life situations in which you made unhealthy agreements with yourself, others, or the enemy are now clouding and distorting your current reality. We make or have made bitter root judgments which then create a bitter root expectancy.  These judgement we have made then hold us and keep us from advancing. It may very well be one major aspects of not know what to do. We again must repent for our inner vows, bitter root judgments & expectancies and ask God to release us from our words and vows so we can move forwards. All of these steps are things you can do before you know what to do.

Surrounding

We are, for the most part, products of our surroundings. We are an amalgamation of our past. We had good parents, bad parents, or no parents. We had good, bad, or no siblings. Our home was either structured, chaos, or somewhere in between. The list goes on and on. Our environment is a huge factor on who we are and whose we are. As you read above in the “Agreements” section you may notice that some of those agreements we’ve made come from the surroundings we were in. Now the past is the past and can be healed, redeemed, and we can learn from the pain we experienced. What I want to talk about is current surroundings. We need freedom. Freedom to do. Freedom to be. Freedom to try. Freedom to fail and freedom to succeed. If you are not in a place, especially Church, where you can’t grow, try new things, expand than you may need to ask the Father if there is a better place for you. If you were never able to individuate as a child or young adult or even a middle-aged adult then it’ll be difficult to live a life of fulfillment. We must surround ourselves with encourages, life-givers, and positive people. It may be hard where you are now but God can provide at least one person but if not, His Presence can surround you and show you Himself and yourself.

Conclusion

Above I described at least four things to do before you know what to do. The list could go on and on but I wanted to give you a few things that maybe you haven’t looked at before. We need to accept the time we are in and the current land that we are on. Then break previous debilitating agreements and adjust our surrounding as much as possible. You’re probably thinking that you don’t have gifts but I can assure you, God has places design and birthright into your spirit and soul. It’s the process of finding what it is that proves to be most difficult. There is probably no platform, TV show, or other experience where you will get honored or esteemed. But if there was a show highlighting people’s ability to speak peace over troubled souls then you’d been voted in. If there was a show looking for the best mom then you’d be at the top. If there was a contest for “Best Dad” then you would out shine them all. If there was a show where a person who loves to serve without any recognition then you would be showcased. If there was a show where raving about the best person who goes over and beyond while behind the scenes then you would be the star.

I struggle everyday to know “What I’m Good At” and still question the things that I think maybe I have a shot at it. I’m still individuating. Maybe I’m a good writer or maybe I suck. Maybe I’ll be a prayer minister (current dream) or maybe I’ll do more harm than good. I still feel the “problem of problems” and am seeking fulfillment where obstacles bend to my design instead of me bending to them. I’m still attempting to walk out of spirit looking for the works that God designed for it. If I look for outward fruit I may be disappointed but I must know that every tree bears fruit at different seasons. When or where is my season? I don’t know. When and where is your season? I don’t know. But what I do know is that we can prepare beforehand and rid ourselves of baggage and develop character and the fruit of the Spirit which provides a foundation for the gift. Graham Cooke said it best, “People destroy with their character what they’ve built with their gift”.

Spirit I call you to attention and I give you freedom to try and to fail.

I give you freedom to try and to succeed.

I give you freedom to receive your sonship and legitimacy from God your Father.

I give you freedom to be a bride who can rest in the Bridegroom.

I speak peace in the process.

I speak healing from the past and restoration in the present.

I bless you with walking with God instead of walking for God.

I bless with you being before doing.

I bless you with being you and no one else.

I bless you with looking in the mirror and liking what you see.

I bless you with looking in the mirror and loving what you see.

I bless you in the name of Jesus, who loves you with an everlasting love.

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When God Kisses Wounds

It was like every other day since I was infected. Always crying “Unclean! Unclean!” took a toll…on the soul as well as the throat. I don’t know how I contracted it but I did and I pay for it daily. The only comfort comes from those similar. Society has shunned us as a whole and the leaders of the day have scowl that rivals any rabid animal. “Get away from here,” they foam. “Don’t infect us you unclean vile,” they spew. Don’t they know we are still people? Don’t they know are souls still feel regardless if our body does? Don’t they know we were created in the same image of the God they supposedly worship?

Then one day a man, an altogether different Man, walked by. He was different is the best possibly way. As I cried “Unclean!  Unclean!” He seemed unfazed. Ignorant maybe. Who knows? It doesn’t matter because at this point I’m desperate, yearning for relief. The burden of being shunned is excruciating. Damaging. But, He doesn’t seem to care. As I see Him approach I see Him seeing me. Not just seeing me but seeing me in all that I am spirit, soul, and body. I started to feel different before He was even in talking distance. Even as I yelled, I saw Him shoosh me. Not because I shouldn’t yell but because I didn’t need to yell around Him. Then all of sudden we were so close a whisper sufficed. This whisper touched me in the deepest dungeon of my imprisoned spirit all the while my soul, being trapped as it was, started changing. My humanity is returned. My dignity restored. I felt…honored. Yet my body still laid deformed. Until He reached and touched me. Human touch is amazing. Engaging. Vulnerable. In my case touch was invading yet compassionate. It broke all notions of what…who I thought I was. Yet this touch was even more. My body did heal as well but it was so much more than that. It was like God Himself (though I found out afterwards it was) touched my whole being. The Trinity touched the trinity. He made things right. And He’ll do it for you. If you feel the need to cry, “Unclean! Unclean!” around people, especially religious ones, know that He came and His Blood speaks over you, “Clean! Clean!”

When God Kisses Wounds.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can destroy the soul. The above story is, what I believe,  what the leper must have or could have felt like and his reactions in the moment. Back in Jesus’ time a leper was an unclean person who had to cry, “Unclean! Unclean!” when others passed by so that they wouldn’t be defiled or harmed by them. Imagine the lifestyle they lived. Imagine the society they lived under where you are a nobody or even worse. A person never touches a leper…but Jesus did. But why? Jesus could have spoken the word but He didn’t. He reached and He touched. He broke the social barrier and brought dignity, honor, and cleansing which in turn also brought healing.

Have you ever wondered why a child will get a scratch, scrape, or cut and wants it kissed? And once kissed, felt better afterwards? I thought it was just a cute thing. I mean, my wife and I do it to each other to be cute and intimate with each other. But there must be something with it.

It is not for the healthy but the sick that Jesus came for. Many times in my life Jesus came and touched me and kissed me in my weakness, in my sin. He will never break a bruised reed. Our Father wants to restore dignity, honor, love, and acceptance into each and every one of us. He wants to restore humanity to its rightful place, which He did in Christ, to us all. He’ll listen to your shouting. He’ll listen to your talking. He’ll listen to your whispering. He’ll reach and He’ll touch. He is willing. Your time is coming.

When I was in a sin, rinse, repeat cycle several years back, I asked the Father, “You must get tired of me?” Immediately His reply was, “I neither slumber nor sleep!” You see, our Father doesn’t rest till we are fully restored. Jesus even said it. “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” Father, Son, and Holy Spirit want and will restore you and kiss you in your weakest, darkest moments. Where you feel trapped by sin, emotional distress, physical handicaps, broken down and disturbed God is walked along the road to go from yelling, to talking, to whispering, to reaching, and then to touching. He is restoring your humanity, dignity, honor, and trinity.

Be blessed! Be restored! You are a human! God loves you!

 

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Get back up!

Yes you fell…we all have and most will again. But it’s not your end. A righteous person may fall 7 times but will rise again. Yes even in the midst of your fall you are still righteous. As the Apostle Paul said, “Such were some of you…but you were washed.” You may have fallen today or an hour ago but with each rising comes a washing. Yes you messed up. Admit it. Come to grips with your actions. Then move forward. If you ever think that God gets tired of you just remember Psalm 121:4, “He who keeps you will neither slumber nor sleep.” He isn’t tired of you and He will never get tired of you coming to Him. I release the truth upon you that you have the ability to go boldly before the Throne of Grace to receive the mercy that you need. Go! Boldly! Never cease going! He is available! He is watching and waiting with His eyes on the horizon! Don’t you see Him! Run! Run faster! Because He will overtake you with His grace. I see Him removing the stained clothes you wear. I see Him washing your feet. I see Him, in you, beckoning for bear hug. I see new clothes! Clean clothes! I see Him calling you to His table of abundance. “Kill the fatted calf! Bring the best wine! My child is here and My love is forever upon them!” You know what? I see Him offering His seat at the table for you. Take it! Is is Him that calls you precious. It is Him that says, “You are worthy of my love.” I understand this is contrary to all religions and religious activity. But it’s true. You are no longer defined by your past or even your present. You are defined by the Great Definer. It is His Word that stands across the ages and sands of time. What He says counts! Not the enemy, not your soul, and not the accusers. Go and so no more! This is declaration and not a warning. Know who you are, know who He is, and know you and Him combined. Get back up! Stop trying to get a grip on Him…rest in His grip on you. You may feel lost but He is never lost and has found you. He is leading you back to still and restful waters. Soak it up! Rest! Let His love take you to where you never thought was possible! Let His perfect love cast away all fear. Let. Let the love do it….and not yourself. Let. Allow His Love to do it apart from you ability to grasp it’s all consumingness. Yes you fell and have fallen. It’s time to get back up. Will you allow His grace, mercy, and love overtake you today? It’s available right now…and will be available for all eternity.

 

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It’s not your fault

This clip is from Good Will Hunting. Just a word of caution. This clip shows a real issue and real emotions. If you’ve been abused this may bring up emotions or flashbacks. My aim is for healing, redemption, and to let you know that it’s not your fault. Please pardon the language:

 

It isn’t! You didn’t do it. You didn’t bring it on yourself. You had nothing to do with it. You weren’t being punished for who you are because who you are is a beautiful person God personally designed, thought about, and put together. You were not a mistake. What happened was caused by someone else and their sin, frailty, and wounding. They did it, not you. You are free from being responsibly for someone else’s actions. God can, and will, and is freeing you from the past. Remember that it is not your fault. You are free to be everything God created you to be. Do me and God a favor today. Take time off. Be you and be comfortable with you. Be who you are. It’s not about performance but about freedom. Truth was meant to set you free not keep you in bondage. I may not fully understand each one of your hurts, wounding, betrayals, abuse, or defilement but God understands. Jesus said, “Come to Me all of you who are burdened and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Receive His rest today. Let it go from mind to heart and from spirit to soul. Let His love wash over you like a hot shower. Cascading over everything you thought you weren’t. Let the ocean of His love and the waves of His grace come and speak to you. Let Him speak to you the thoughts He has that outnumber the sands of the sea. Open up your heart once again to Him who will never, NEVER hurt, wound, or betray you. He longs to hear your voice. He longs to hold your hand. He longs to be with you right in the middle of everything.

I apologize for any emotions or past experiences it may have brought back. Please don’t stuff or neglect emotions because they point to something and it can bring a chance for healing to come. Many of you need to watch it and receive the words and affirmation you’ve so longed to hear and believe. Some may not need to hear this but you may know someone who does. Pass it along. Share it, post it, like it, re-blog it not for me but for someone else.

The Sound of One Breathing

The sound of One breathing

I heard this is where the term ruwach came from. I like it. It’s awesome. It speaks of Life. It speaks of One present. It speak of movement and action.

John 3:8 says,

The Spirit breathes where He will, and you hear His voice, but you do not know from where He comes and where He goes; thus is everyone who is born from The Spirit.

I was engaging with that meaning “the sound of One Breathing” while at church several weeks ago. To tap into the reality that the God of wonderful power and awe reside in this temple. The resurrection power of God lives in me. The one that came with fire and clouds. The one that breathes things into existence. What if I truly walked in the realm of One Breathing? What if my breath synchronized with His Breath? What if I was in tune with His rhythm? To be in one accord? What would that feel like? What would that look like? What could be done? Amazing things I tell you….amazing things!

 

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A Blockage to Hearing God

How does this image hit your soul? How does it hit your spirit? I know how it hits me. “Wait till your father gets home!”

There are many articles, blogs, books, videos, and messages with a myriad of lists with possible blockages to hearing God. I will speak on behalf of experience and expound somewhat on one thing in my life that blocked it or more correctly held me back from wanting to listen.

First the back story.

Like I’m sure many of us who haven’t walked with God all our life things were messy. We sinned and for a time loved it. I did. But then God came in His goodness…and the enemy with his badness. For me there was a daily struggle between condemnation, conviction, and correcting or whatever terms you like to use. I held a lot of shame in my spirit not the soul. Shame resides in the spirit of a person. Also being an introspective introvert didn’t make it any easier. I was constantly aware of my failures, character defects, etc. In my mind I had this constant sountrack playing that I kept offending and hurting and was a disappointment to my heavenly Father. Here was the agreement and inner vow: I have failed God so many times by sinning I dare not seek Him or else He will tell me to do something that I know I won’t do thus sinning and not being obedient again. How dare I seek His face and ask Him to speak when I know I won’t do it. See what shame does? See what demonically inspired introspection fueled by religion does? It cripples you. It crippled me. One of my only prayer for years was either “Bless this food to my body” or “God please forgive me and cleanse me.” What was weird is that I could hear for others just great. I could prophesy and have words of knowledge and they would be spot on in most cases. For me it was easy to do that when I wasn’t responsible for the outcome. A person could deliver mail all day without a worry until they receive their own mail. When I saw my mail all I saw was bills and junk mail. So what blocked me was I didn’t want to disobey God once again. Best way not to disobey is not hear Him speak because I always thought He would be directive. I never knew He just wanted to chill. Hang out. Enjoy ME for ME. I didn’t know God could and would enjoy the current version. I’m thinking of the digital age we live in where it’s all about the latest greatest version. New comes along and the old gets discarded. Thrown away. Worthless.

And then I found out a secret…God will not set you up for failure. That a test is not designed for your failure or to show you what you are not. But a test is a joyful exploration of my Father’s goodness wrapped up in my seeming frailty and taking life on together. God may set your unrenewed self up to fail or rather realize apart from Him you can do nothing. Know this: God wants you to come to Him warts, spots, and all because He’s already washed them away. Seeking His face is about knowing Him intimately not to get a to-do list. Jesus’ first and second commandment are to love Him and others as ourselves. Love doesn’t produce a project to be completed or a problem to be solved. Love produces an environment where the good, bad, and ugly can reside side by side until the Holy Spirit and man’s spirit come into agreement and start to bring redemptive death to those things in order for resurrection power to come forth.

The religious spirit will do all it can from keeping you from God just like the Pharisees did. In the Old Covenant condemnation was the ministry (see 2 Cor. 3:9) New Testament’s ministry is righteousness. Old Covenant death came by getting close. New Testament life comes by getting close.

If you’ve ever felt like how I felt then today is a new day. God won’t set you up for failure. Even if He does ask you to do something and you don’t do it then there is great grace abounding to you. That is what relationships are about. Walking together through the thick and thin. Blood is thicker than your inabilities.

 

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Follow Me. – Jesus

Matthew 4:19 says

Come, follow Me…

Do you ever feel stagnant in life? How about in your walk with the Lord? I do….right now.

It’s funny how we lose what we have gain sometimes. You look to the horizon and see the light…then we realize we are facing west and the light is going away. And we wait for another dark night of the soul as they say. Why? Why do we lose what we gain? Sometime I think it is because we stop following. We set up shop and stay put. It’s interesting that Jesus said, “Follow Me.” How many actually follow? There is a dynamic aspect to our walk with God. There’s another term we use often yet never think about. Our walk with God.

There’s another interesting thing Jesus said is in John 5:17

My Father is working until this hour, and I am also working.

We need to be active in our life with God. Proactive. Interactive. Not passive or inert. It kinda goes back to the whole Inheritance or Entitlement thing. Are we active participators in with Jesus or are we just along for the ride. If I’ve lost sight of the horizon maybe I should keep following the sun(son). Maybe I’ve seen the signposts and forgot about them and am looking for other ones. Maybe if I don’t hear “Left” or “Right” then I should keep going straight. On a side note, personal prophecy is God’s desire for you but it will only be fulfilled if our desire connects with it. Co-laboring with and in His promises.

So all of this ^^^^ above is what I was originally writing then I was like, “What am I even writing about?” I mean, I know what I was getting at but was I even picking up what I was putting down? Am I going to pose or be real? Am I going to do what I think others need to do? To be honest I’ve been really….discouraged. Kind of lost sight of the bigger picture as well as the smaller picture I would like to see myself in. It’s weird because several weeks back I was full of anticipation and joy. I saw a horizon I could reach.

I was really looking forward to this Waterboyz Wild at Heart Boot Camp this past weekend but during the weekend I just felt….indifferent. Not to say God didn’t speak to me, because He did. Also I don’t want to diminished how blessed I was to see many other men’s lives were changed. There were many great things that happened like 15 men being baptized in the Chesapeake Bay. Four father and son’s hearts were radically turned towards each other. These were amazing things and I shed many tears of joy for these awesome God moments.

What did He speak? I felt He told me, “Well done, son.” I wept. I also realized how many times I’ve spoken negatively over myself in regards to me being overweight or stupid or being an idiot. I took that “Yellow Passport” and wrote all the names I’ve spoken over myself and others have spoken over me. I threw that thing away. I was no longer my identity or destiny. It’s been a week and I still feel….well shitty. Forgive my language but it’s how I feel. Nothing has really changed externally. All my circumstance are the same as they were previous weeks ago. Maybe I picked up on some critters? Maybe I’ve been sensing someone else’s stuff? It does happen.

I guess dreaming long is key where I am at now. People say you need to press through. What does that even mean practically? “Press in” they say. What am I pressing and how do I press? And what may be on the other side? I’m not trying to be negative or have a pity party but process out loud so to speak.

You know it can be very easy to reach out for the imitation. There’s a quote by Bruce Marshall (not Chesterton) which is

…the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.

Now this is incredibly true in all aspects. I’m currently ringing that bell at food. I also ring it at adventurous activity. Of course the brothel is never, ever a good idea and that bell should never be rung. But is food bad? Or marital sex? Or adventure? Or anything clearly within God’s character? It’s all about focus. What am I focusing on? What is my intention? Where is my validation coming from? What or who am I giving power to be the report card on my life?

I often look how behind I am in life. I’m 31 and have a crappy car…super thankful for that car though. I’m in a career field that I’m good at but not passionate about. I want to be in ministry and being able to support a family with that but that seems extremely far-reaching. I feel lost and confused…if that is where I am validated. If my currency and current(cy) is determined by my following something temporal then I’m set up for disaster or heartache. I need to learn to enjoy where I am. Moment by every precious moment. I can enjoy my beautiful God-breathed marriage. I can enjoy actually having a job and being able to pay bills. I can enjoy my times when I can do adventures. I can look and see God’s total provision for my Nicaragua trip. I can choose to acknowledge but refuse invalidation from dealing with anxiety/panic stuff. I can live with having Asthma and allergies and bad teeth. I can see external facts but live in internal truths. I can agree with the process of an outworking salvation, a grasping for a future growth into a present reality, and I can live, with God, moment by moment because I am a much-loved child of God.

I have what it takes. I am noticed. My heart matters. My Father adores me.

You have what it takes. You are noticed. Your heart matters. Your Father adores you.

P.S. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t don’t feel dumb for this blog. It’s title has nothing really to do with the ending. I figured I will keep the title and the featured image.

The disciples belonged before they believed. – Bill Johnson