Grace

this is where i’m at…but i digress

Greetings,

It’s been awhile. Five months. Joyful times and trying times. Aimless yet hopeful. Aiming yet unsure of a target.

I know I’m not alone. I don’t know which was worse. When I was in my early 20’s I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was solely present-minded but not in a good way. No prospects, aspirations, or dreams. Now in my mid 30’s I feel like I know what I want to do yet it’s either too lofty or grasping for the wind. I moved to a big city (Philadelphia) thinking I would find something of substance but, as of yet, nothing. Don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying many aspects of Philadelphia like the food, activities, sights, street fairs, brews, etc. But I haven’t really found my place. I didn’t find my place where I previously lived either but that was due to other factors like family drama and passive aggressive family member going behind my back to break my then girlfriend now wife apart. I needed out of there. Now we are thinking of moving elsewhere in a few years. I’d like to live in a city where I don’t have to fear school aged children while walking across them on the street since they like to randomly attack people but I digress.

I also have an issue with shame, lack of self-confidence, latent anger, jealousy, etc. I can’t even count how many times I’ve threatened to delete my blog since apparently no one cares when I share them on Social Media. I did delete my blog’s FB page due to lack of any traffic. I desperately want to fit in and be not only accepted but approved and honored and celebrated, which some may say is unhealthy. But I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy. We are all individuals seeking to make our own stamp on the world but within a community of mutual respect and honor. I have yet found said community. The current fellowship I go to was amounting to a great church with people who looked after others and attempted community but found out, though I probably am judging with incomplete knowledge, there is community but the usual clique type community. Popular, hipster, millennial types. Church is less about being a community but more about serving the community. Church is life to some but that just isn’t my flavor. I love openness and togetherness. Diversity in community where every single person has a voice and something to offer, not as a commodity, but as an integral stone is the church God Himself is building that is outside four walls or a fog machine. I’m just being honest and may offend some but I feel it needs to be said. I mean why would believers need to schedule time to just chill only if nothing is happening at Church? Can we just hang out without it being scheduled in the Church’s bulletin or FB event? But I digress.

Back to shame and such. I know that everyone won’t honor everyone and everyone isn’t the QB/Pastor who gets all the attention and gifts and support. There are a lot of us on the line who protect, serve, and support those who say they care but hard to see it in action. On the flip side even public honor of another can be done as an honor to one’s self. I recently wanted a clip of a church who ordered pizza and made the delivery person come on stage and give a $100 tip. I mean, hey, I’d take a $100 tip but it seems—though I can’t judge their heart—that when you have to do it on stage with a radio voice and give it $10 a time to emphasize how great it is just seams…inauthentic.

It’s not wonder that Arthur Burk has teaching about Life After Church because so many people are leaving the institutional church for real community. Where everyone has a voice and not just the QB who wins the MVP. What if all the corner churches and mega churches stopped having Sunday morning services where we hear one sermon rehashed from last year and heard what the whole body has to say. What if what Joe has to say will set Paul free but will never hear because the “Man Of God” is the only one anointed? What if rest were actually practiced in fellowship? What is noise did not equal worship? What if sunday’s sermon did not equal intimacy with God? What if we, as a body of believers, actually starting growing up and fending for ourselves? What if we left the milk behind and ventured towards the carving block for a good slice of prime rib? But I digress.

Back to shame and such again. I want to be a celebrated individual within non commoditized community. What if honor is based and not placed. What if we honored people based upon God’s innate nature within them and not a false honor placed on someone due to their gifts or what we can get from them? We each have intrinsic value which reflects the nature of God. I sick of this more of God less of me bullshit. That was specifically regarding John the Baptist’s ministry. It must be more of God and more of me because I am an heir of God and co-heir with Christ. We are laden with guilt in the form of false humility. We have a glory people! Jesus has given us the glory to God gave to him and until we see ourselves and other that way the shame that I struggle with will continue to be a struggle. We…I…continue to resurrect the dead old man and live the law that we can’t fulfill. But I digress.

So what do I want for myself and family? Above all else to be where God wants us. To find our place as living stones in the river of God on this earth. I feel called to prayer ministry and teaching and writing(all of which will probably never pay the bills). I also would absolutely love to create a retreat for those who are living the above. Where they can come where there are no schedule or calendars. No pressure or stress to server or entertain others. A place of community where solitude and engagement with others are equally celebrated and supported. For the leader or the layperson, the pastor or the usher. The person who sits in the back pew or red cushioned chair with the plastic caps on the end of the chair backs. Where the communion table is not a preserved “grape” juice and paper wafer but a table of conversations and real food. A place where there are no positions, offices, denominations, or titles. A place where a suit and tie doesn’t make you more spiritual and a shirt and cargo shorts doesn’t make you “less religious”. Pretense and pretentious free. Where numbers don’t matter and intimacy isn’t on a scale to be judged by others. But I digress.

It’s hard to be in a holding pattern. Not knowing where you are or where to go can be quite frustrating. I can only do what I know to do until I know to do differently. I’ll work my IT job for as long as I need to. It’s not my passion but I’m doing it. I wish I could be one of those who never have to work a day of their life’s meaning their vocation is their passion and they are good at it. I want to also have a nice sized family and be able to provide for my wife all she needs and wants. I above all else want us to be and to do it together as a team. But so far I feel a failure at most of it right now. I’m overweight, not making monetarily what I need to have a family, don’t have a suitable house for a family, live in a city where it’s hard to raise a family, and hard to find encouragement to get to where I need to be. Like most men it’s hard to need somebody else. But that’s what I need. I wish I could find someone who can be a mentor in my life. Someone has the time and mutual bond to do so. I just really need encouragement. But I digress.

Thanks to those who’ve read till here. This post has really been a mixture of emotions, thoughts, ramblings, and heartaches. Deep down I am hopeful and optimistic. At the same time I’m fearful how others will react to this post but here goes nothing…but I digress.

 

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Copyright March by: Jordan Gresczyk

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100th blog!!!

It’s definitely been a journey. So what spurred me onto doing a blog? Glad you inquired so inquisitively (yes I spelled that correctly the first time).

Basically I was blowing up my Facebook friend’s timelines, news feeds, or walls depending on whatever it was called at that time. My aunt from Minnesota, where I was born but moved away when I was 3 then moved back when I was 19, where God got ahold of me, and then left again at 21, (ok breath now) said, “Why don’t you start a blog?” I believe someone else recommended that to me also but I don’t quite remember. So I himmed and hawwed (or is it “hemmed and hawed”) about starting one for a while. The thing is previously I wasn’t really serious about growing and seeking His face that much. I went to a great church with great speakers (big name Charismatic speakers) and great prophetic worship that sometimes last hours without needing scripted music lyrics. I was comfortable being fed by someone else’s hand, so to speak. Now this is not to say you can’t be fed by someone else’s hand but with maturity comes self-sufficiency but not self-sufficiency where you isolate and become above rebuke or think more highly than yourself. The self-sufficiency that I’m talking about is where you no longer look to someone else for your growth but you press onto maturity in Him. (See Isaiah 28:9 and Isaiah 28:9)

My problem was I didn’t think I had anything to share. In the real-life world of shapes, sounds, and time I am a man of few words. Very introverted. Introverted to the point when I hear “Stand up and greet someone” in church I either stay seated or go on my phone…but not all the time. Part of that had to do with being raised to not ask questions, not to inquire with “Why?” but just reply, “Yes, dad.” Now over a period of 4+ years I have been regaining my voice back and realizing I do have things to share, maybe wrong or maybe right I don’t know. Even now very few of the people I know is this real world share, comment, or inquire much about my blogs, which I’m ok with. My wife does support me in it 100% and supports my desire to want to write a non-fiction and fiction book sometime in the future. I am however really encouraged to those on WordPress, Facebook, and even Twitter by people sharing, liking, and commenting. It encourages me to continue on with a 101st blog and not quit. If you knew me before I was 20 and before I started this blog in January 2014 you would be surprised I am where I am.

Before I started walking with the Holy Spirit I hated reading, so much that I did maybe 1 or 2 summer reading assignments in High School or 8th grade (I was homeschooled from 1st-7th and skipped 5th (because I didn’t like it…just kidding. I skipped it…I was smart…back then)). I hated reading. I loved being outside or playing video games however. But after I started following the Lord I started to pick up every Christian book I could. Read the Bible all the way through, I was a sponge at that point. But I still hated writing. Then someone mentioned starting a blog so I launched out and signed up. It’s been an amazing thing in my life.

I did leave that one church and started going to another local church which has few speakers but still good worship and good teaching. This kind of incentivized me on to going after the Lord for myself by seeking what has been implanted instead of waiting in a prayer line for an impartation all the time. I realized that I have something to offer to others and being as I’m not a pastor nor an itinerant minister or singer/songwriter I had to vehicle until I started this blog. It was like the floodgates opened to me and a rush of new thoughts, ideas, personal applications, revelation, etc came to me. And they only left when I wrote them down but then more came. It continues to this days. That’s why it is 100 and counting.

So I have a question to those who have read to the end. What has been your take away from this blog? Has it helped or not? Is it applicable in your life? Do you have questions, concerns, or would want my thoughts concerning things either general or specific? Above all I do my best not to take sides or be involved in the schisms of isms. I like balance and riding the fences on some things. However I am firm on the essentials. My aim to know Him and to offer different views with different applications. Our life and issues do not come pre-packaged so neither will our growth or healing. I always want an open toolbox with the filter of 100% Scripture and 100% Spirit.

Thanks to all those who have liked, following, reblogged, comments, and shared. I am excited for the next 100 posts.

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Get back up!

Yes you fell…we all have and most will again. But it’s not your end. A righteous person may fall 7 times but will rise again. Yes even in the midst of your fall you are still righteous. As the Apostle Paul said, “Such were some of you…but you were washed.” You may have fallen today or an hour ago but with each rising comes a washing. Yes you messed up. Admit it. Come to grips with your actions. Then move forward. If you ever think that God gets tired of you just remember Psalm 121:4, “He who keeps you will neither slumber nor sleep.” He isn’t tired of you and He will never get tired of you coming to Him. I release the truth upon you that you have the ability to go boldly before the Throne of Grace to receive the mercy that you need. Go! Boldly! Never cease going! He is available! He is watching and waiting with His eyes on the horizon! Don’t you see Him! Run! Run faster! Because He will overtake you with His grace. I see Him removing the stained clothes you wear. I see Him washing your feet. I see Him, in you, beckoning for bear hug. I see new clothes! Clean clothes! I see Him calling you to His table of abundance. “Kill the fatted calf! Bring the best wine! My child is here and My love is forever upon them!” You know what? I see Him offering His seat at the table for you. Take it! Is is Him that calls you precious. It is Him that says, “You are worthy of my love.” I understand this is contrary to all religions and religious activity. But it’s true. You are no longer defined by your past or even your present. You are defined by the Great Definer. It is His Word that stands across the ages and sands of time. What He says counts! Not the enemy, not your soul, and not the accusers. Go and so no more! This is declaration and not a warning. Know who you are, know who He is, and know you and Him combined. Get back up! Stop trying to get a grip on Him…rest in His grip on you. You may feel lost but He is never lost and has found you. He is leading you back to still and restful waters. Soak it up! Rest! Let His love take you to where you never thought was possible! Let His perfect love cast away all fear. Let. Let the love do it….and not yourself. Let. Allow His Love to do it apart from you ability to grasp it’s all consumingness. Yes you fell and have fallen. It’s time to get back up. Will you allow His grace, mercy, and love overtake you today? It’s available right now…and will be available for all eternity.

 

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It’s not your fault

This clip is from Good Will Hunting. Just a word of caution. This clip shows a real issue and real emotions. If you’ve been abused this may bring up emotions or flashbacks. My aim is for healing, redemption, and to let you know that it’s not your fault. Please pardon the language:

 

It isn’t! You didn’t do it. You didn’t bring it on yourself. You had nothing to do with it. You weren’t being punished for who you are because who you are is a beautiful person God personally designed, thought about, and put together. You were not a mistake. What happened was caused by someone else and their sin, frailty, and wounding. They did it, not you. You are free from being responsibly for someone else’s actions. God can, and will, and is freeing you from the past. Remember that it is not your fault. You are free to be everything God created you to be. Do me and God a favor today. Take time off. Be you and be comfortable with you. Be who you are. It’s not about performance but about freedom. Truth was meant to set you free not keep you in bondage. I may not fully understand each one of your hurts, wounding, betrayals, abuse, or defilement but God understands. Jesus said, “Come to Me all of you who are burdened and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Receive His rest today. Let it go from mind to heart and from spirit to soul. Let His love wash over you like a hot shower. Cascading over everything you thought you weren’t. Let the ocean of His love and the waves of His grace come and speak to you. Let Him speak to you the thoughts He has that outnumber the sands of the sea. Open up your heart once again to Him who will never, NEVER hurt, wound, or betray you. He longs to hear your voice. He longs to hold your hand. He longs to be with you right in the middle of everything.

I apologize for any emotions or past experiences it may have brought back. Please don’t stuff or neglect emotions because they point to something and it can bring a chance for healing to come. Many of you need to watch it and receive the words and affirmation you’ve so longed to hear and believe. Some may not need to hear this but you may know someone who does. Pass it along. Share it, post it, like it, re-blog it not for me but for someone else.

We Have These Treasures In Earthen Vessels – My Time In Nicaragua

I want to share some highlights from my trip to Nicaragua.

First off I want to say thanks all those that gave of their prayers. I needed them and felt them. Secondly I want to thank God and those that gave of their money. All the funding I needed came in which was truly a blessing. Without a couple key supporters I wouldn’t have been able to make it.

One of the only real “fears” I had about going was the 4 different plane trips and dealing with possible anxiety/panic attacks. Thankfully that was not an issue…being tall and on a plane was another thing. Nicaragua is considered one of, if not the safest country in Central America so that wasn’t a concern. Not once down there did I have a panic attack which I was thankful for too. It must have been time off of work that all the stress left.

Our team of 5 had a wonderful translator who was the son of the Pastor of the church down there. One of the woman of the team was also very astute with Spanish. We were able to stay at a hotel on a coffee plantation (D’Santos Hotel Boutique). Our daily activities were to meet with the children of the project during their lunch time, play group games, and hand out simple but well received gifts. After they left to go to their home we waited  some time and then left to meet them and their immediate family inside their  NiNICaa

homes to present gifts provided by their sponsors from the U.S. After that we asked each family if they wanted prayer. Most prayers consists of health issues like arthritis, heart problems, a job or better job, and nicer house. The trip wasn’t geared necessarily toward evangelism but one woman became a new creation and one woman was still a pre-Christian. All in all those beautiful people enjoyed our visits and prayers and that someone actually cares enough for them and don’t think that they are just another notch on their evangelist belt. Personally I just wanted to hang out with them in their houses just to get to know who they are as people, their stories, passions, and what they feel God has for them.

The outright hospitality of them was very heartwarming. Most of them offered a seat and most only have the usual plastic yard chair as their main seating and me, being a man of girth, had to decline sitting on them. I need a hefty chair. What was so sweet is one of the grandmothers knew I couldn’t fit on their chair so she cleared off this end table, that was full of stuff, just so I could sit down in their house. It blessed me richly. Another house, where the father worked from home cooking, they had a fan, which was rare in the houses, and they turned it on for our team while we were there. Almost immediately upon entering the father handed us all a grape juice box and an artificial Chicharrón which we all declined but he was insistent so I took it and drank the juice box and ate the snack, both of which were tasty.

The only Scripture that was clear in my spirit during the trip was 2 Corinthians 4:7 which says,

But we have these treasures in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

Treasures. In the Greek treasure is thēsauros which means: the place in which good and precious things are collected and laid up, a treasury. And that is exactly who they are. You see we are all created in the image and glory of God. No matter what tribe and language and people and nation a person is from (see Revelation 5:9). When we speak to the light, when we speak to the promise, when we live without an agenda the power of God has so much more room to move.

Like most people who go to impoverished countries and go back to the U.S. there was a measure of shock and awe. The kids were flabbergasted to get a bouncy ball one day, a SFX deflating balloon another day, and water balloon game another. But I also realize that our frame of reference is what we have seen and lived and not another person. So for them life is different and for us life is different. And neither should be overly projected onto the other. But the contrast is stark. No iPads, smart phones, or constant mental stimulation. While those in the U.S., generally speaking, are not content but always wanting more, those in Nicaragua that I met are also wanting more though content and smiling genuinely. In the midst of the monetary poverty, the riches of intelligence and entrepreneurship were present. In the midst of the these “shacks” there are stores which I patronized while there. Poverty is a state of mind not a state of financial superiority.

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What I saw in Nicaragua is heart. Strength. Endurance. Faith. Faithfulness. Honor. Preference. Love. Joy. Smiles. Lots of smiles. Pain. Heartache.

I saw people. Like you and me. People who go through the same internal struggles that we all go through. While looking at developing countries most people probably look upon the kids, family, housing, and poverty with pity. Or just feel sorry for them or not even give a lick. But then I see Jesus walking. Compassion comes to mind. It’s different from pity…very different. Compassion in Greek is splagchnizomai which means to be moved as to one’s bowels…gut wrenching comes to mind. In Hebrew it’s racham which means to love, love deeply, have mercy, be compassionate, have tender affection, have compassion.

I loved the people down there. I take that back…I love the people down there. Inviting, hospitable, generous, loving, caring people. Like I said earlier I just wanted to hang out with them. Chill with them and get to know them and their stories. Bring inner healing & deliverance to them. Bring Jesus more and more.

Will I go back? If God specifically wants me to of course. If God asks, “Do you want to go again because it’s all good with Me,” then yes. If He doesn’t then no. I’ve shared the dream about a prophet guy naming three countries, Nicaragua being the only one I remember, so I will see what the other two are and go there if God shows me and provides the way. Personally I love traveling anywhere. I would travel to every country if possible but only God could perform such a thing because I don’t have money for that. I must confess that I’ve been envious for people my age, younger and older than me as well, and how they have traveled to so many different places and seen so many different things. Some go for pleasure and others go to preach, teach, and evangelize. I would love to be involved with that more so we will see. I’ve seen myself preaching and teaching but so many things seem in the way. I don’t know how others do it or get to do it. But that is for another blog maybe.

Thanks again for the prayers and support.

Jordan

Does God share His glory?

There is a common teaching in Church today that says God doesn’t and won’t share His glory with anyone. I understand what they are saying and where they are coming from but it’s not the whole picture. Here are some scriptures I’d like to share that gives a broader picture.

John 17:22

The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one

Matthew 5:16

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven

Isaiah 60:1-3

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising

Revelation 21:26

And they will bring the glory and the honor of the nations into it

1 Corinthians 11:7

For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God

2 Corinthians 3:18

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transfigured into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit

I will elaborate on a future blog. You were created more then just to die and go to heaven. You were created to live.

1 John 4:17 declares

As He is, so are we in this world

Is = present tense

That is all 🙂

 

 

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Going to Nicaragua!!

Dear WordPress family,

I am writing to share some exciting news with you. I plan to be part of a mission team traveling to Nicaragua June 16th through June 21st. Nicaragua is the second poorest country in our hemisphere (Haiti is the poorest). I’m going to sow into the land and the people. I have felt called to go ever since I had a dream with a well known prophet. In the dream this prophet named three names, two of which I don’t remember but Nicaragua is the one that stuck with me so I’m going!

My church, Harvest Christian Fellowship, in Frederick, Maryland, in partnership with Cristo Centro Church of Diriamba, Nicaragua, sponsors TrueHope4Kids, a ministry outreach to school age children in Diriamba. The children who participate in TrueHope4Kids would, were it not for this outreach, likely not attend school at all, but would be out in the streets begging or scavenging the local dump for “treasures” to sell to help keep food on the table at home. In exchange for their caregivers agreeing to keep them in school, TrueHope4Kids provides a nourishing meal and high-quality vitamins every school day, along with Bible studies and other educational activities. The children receive help with uniforms, and receive backpacks filled with school supplies every year. Over the years, many of the children and their families have surrendered their lives to Christ, become active church members and productive members of their community.

Our team will be serving and ministering to these children and their families each day, not only at the TrueHope4Kids location, but also visiting in their homes, hearing their stories, encouraging them and praying for their needs. We will likely do some street witnessing as well. And because we will be there during Cristo Centro Church’s 30th anniversary, we will get to join the congregation for their celebration, where we will have opportunities to serve and encourage them as well!

I am asking for your help to make this trip possible. First, I covet your prayers for success in raising funds and for productive ministry and safety for our team during the mission trip. I know that much prayer is vital for success, and I would be greatly encouraged if you would agree to pray for me and the whole team.

Second, I cannot make the trip without financial partners. I need to raise $1,320 to join this mission team, half before April 15th and the remainder by June 2nd. If you are able to help with the finances, I would be richly blessed. You can use the PayPal donate link below. Donations done that way will not be tax exempt unfortunately. To receive a tax deductible, receipt use https://giving.onthecity.org/hcfchurch/uauth_giving/new and put “NIC Missions 1 John 4:17” as the memo.

Thank you for your friendship, prayers and any financial support you are able to provide. I plan to provide a follow-up report to you when our trip is concluded.

Sincerely,

Jordan Gresczyk

 

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