This may sound strange coming from a man but…I love reality shows. Well not all reality shows but certain ones hold some value. Not those silly Survivor, Jersey Shore, and other weird ones. My two favorites are The Voice and So You Think You Can Dance. I tear up when I experience seeing someone who is somewhat hidden now blossoming into their gift. I absolutely love honor, dignity, and being noticed. This article could go very religious in that I could talk about vanity, God’s glory versus man’s, and the other arguments against, well whatever religious people hate about random things but I’m want to come from a different vantage point.
Like I said above, seeing someone be recognized for their gift and honor moves my spirit and soul to a deep place within me. However, if you’re like me, than you’ve tried many things to find “what you’re good at” and have yet to hit the mark. I played Soccer as a kid (who hasn’t) and then tried baseball one summer then went on to play football for a losing team on a local community league. I then played JV football at high school (nobody gets cut there) then got cut in 11th grade for Varsity football because I was more of a soft-spoken, laid back type of gent. I didn’t care much about school nor about the future. My siblings were excellent hockey players who went on to play pro roller hockey but not me. I liked pot and video games. Then when I was 20 I (re)dedicated my life to Jesus. Got free from pot yet still entangled with self-worth issues.
You see I had trouble individuating when I was younger. I wasn’t really great at one thing. Sure I was semi good at soccer, in baseball I couldn’t hit the ball for the life of me, and in football I wasn’t as aggressive as I should have been. I actually tried out for hockey once but made the B team and then dropped out. I wasn’t good at any particular subject in school though I enjoyed Home EC and the Sciences in general. I absolutely hated reading and writing was a close second. I couldn’t sing, dance, or play an instrument (I tried learning guitar many years back as an adult but threw my “Idiots Guide to Playing Guitar” book away after it demanded I learn to read music) so that was a bust. I even wrote and recorded rap songs (which can still be found online) when I had a lot of free time on my hands. I wasn’t good at it, though I thought the lyrics were on point and held several meanings often. I did not have an education so I went into the family business of carpentry. I was fairly good at that. I do have a strong attention to detail, when I want to, so that helped in that field. Left that field went to other labor work of delivering mattresses and then working at a major toy company’s distribution center. After working 10 hour shifts on concrete floors and working 10 hour shifts during a 12 day stretch twice during Christmas season I had enough of that riff raff. I then took classes at a local community college to help study for three different computer certifications. That was over 4 years ago and I only have 2 out of 3 certifications…in a field where I don’t find fulfillment or gratification. Then I started studying and reading about inner healing & deliverance concepts and I’m hooked. It fascinates me to no end. That and psychology as well. Abnormal psychology to be exact. My new venture is writing. For a person who abhorred reading and writing to become an avid reader and writer is interesting to say the least. The verdict (mine, God’s, and those who read it) is still out on writing. I also find immense fulfillment is doing prayer ministry in the limited time I do it. If would do it full-time if it were to be economically viable one day. I still have my doubts, which is something I’m pondering in my spirit and my soul, if this is what God has for me or not. Looking back I wish I went to college for Christian counseling but some things weren’t meant to be I suppose. Even at 33 years old I’m still individuating. Still investigating to find my niche. Still trying to “Do” while finding out what I’m suppose to “Do.”
What I wrote above is probably not foreign to many of you. The only difference is that you may be 20, 40, or 50 and above and still not know. Mid-life crisis anyone? Most of us in waiting have to do what we have to do to survive and pay bills and most hobbies are to kill time. We are swamped with responsibilities and somewhat forced into fields that don’t fulfill. To those who love what they do and get fulfillment and get paid we all envy you or at least I do. Now here’s the rub…what do you do when you don’t know what to do.
We must reconcile our past and present with God’s truth over us. And to borrow Graham Cooke’s quote, “We must bring the future into today.” The foundation for any “Doing” comes from “Being.” Character is the foundation where fulfillment can be built. When you live in and with fulfillment, the problem of problems diminishes. Problems become a stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. Fulfillment bends the will of the problem in your favor wherein problems become but a servant to a master. Fulfillment comes when God’s design, imprinted in your spirit, meets the works that were prepared for it. So here are a few places needing to be addressed.
I’ll attempt to explain these as short and concise as possible. Remember there is no shame or condemnation just reconciliation and alignment.
How many of you have been asked the question, “If you were living in a different time when would it be and why?” It’s a great ice breaker in small groups. But how many actually wish they lived in a different time? When we reject the point in time we are in now we reject God’s very own placement of us. We can see God’s time set for all of us in Acts 17:26 which says, “And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their lands and territories.” You see here that God determines the time in which we will live. If we have rejected our time then we must repent and ask God to forgive us. Some have trauma related to time (good teaching here) and some have even cursed their conception and birth like Job (Job 3:3). Still others have actually had their time switch and manipulated through occult activity and SRA. If that is the case God can and will reorient us back to His original timeline for us. When we come to a place where we accept when we are then we can look at the where we are.
Land is an interesting one. There is not much teaching on land in the body of Christ. But if you were to do a word search the word “land” is used in the KJV you’ll find it used 1,717 times in 1,489 verses. Most, I’m sure, are simply talking about land in general but if you look deeper and read all that within the Scripture you’ll see that land plays a big role. As we see in the Acts verse above God appoints land and territories. God appointed land to Adam & Eve, Moses, and Abraham. The only way these people could live out their destiny is to be on the right land. There are deeper dynamics to land (good teaching here) but I’ll queue you in on one. 2 Chron. 7:14 says, “and My people, who are called by My Name, humble themselves, and pray and seek (crave, require as a necessity) My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.” We’ve all heard this verse but how many have glossed over the ending? I know I have for years but it shows that God wants to heal land. And, like a lot of things, the New Age has stolen and perverted due to the Church leaving a vacuum of not address the whole counsel of God.
When it comes to us and land there are generally two current realities. One is that we are on the land God wants us on or we are not on the land God wants us on. If the former is true and you agree with the Lord than awesome. All is well on the land aspect. If the former, then there are a few reasons. One is that we reject where God wants us just like the time aspect above. Two is that we are not on the land but are moving towards it like Moses and Abraham. Three is that we are dynamic in our land relationship. We go in and out with bondage or we go in and out with freedom. If in bondage, than we are being pulled away by the enemy, ourselves, or trauma but are fighting to stay in. If in freedom, than we accept our land but also know that God has things for us in temporary land placement. To reconcile the where we must again repent for rejecting the land where we are and to ask the Lord if we are on the right land now and if not where to go. God may not say exactly but He may move you to a different city or state like He did to me. We should also ask God about the current land to cleanse it and mine it for God’s treasures (gardeners will understand).
We all make agreements as we go through life. Some we vocalize while other we internalize. Both can be labeled “Inner Vows“. Another good article on this is “What is the Soundtrack to Your Story“. When we make agreements on our current life situations, we enforce and solidify the mentality and emotional reactions which then cloud and distort future life situations. That means the past life situations in which you made unhealthy agreements with yourself, others, or the enemy are now clouding and distorting your current reality. We make or have made bitter root judgments which then create a bitter root expectancy. These judgement we have made then hold us and keep us from advancing. It may very well be one major aspects of not know what to do. We again must repent for our inner vows, bitter root judgments & expectancies and ask God to release us from our words and vows so we can move forwards. All of these steps are things you can do before you know what to do.
We are, for the most part, products of our surroundings. We are an amalgamation of our past. We had good parents, bad parents, or no parents. We had good, bad, or no siblings. Our home was either structured, chaos, or somewhere in between. The list goes on and on. Our environment is a huge factor on who we are and whose we are. As you read above in the “Agreements” section you may notice that some of those agreements we’ve made come from the surroundings we were in. Now the past is the past and can be healed, redeemed, and we can learn from the pain we experienced. What I want to talk about is current surroundings. We need freedom. Freedom to do. Freedom to be. Freedom to try. Freedom to fail and freedom to succeed. If you are not in a place, especially Church, where you can’t grow, try new things, expand than you may need to ask the Father if there is a better place for you. If you were never able to individuate as a child or young adult or even a middle-aged adult then it’ll be difficult to live a life of fulfillment. We must surround ourselves with encourages, life-givers, and positive people. It may be hard where you are now but God can provide at least one person but if not, His Presence can surround you and show you Himself and yourself.
Above I described at least four things to do before you know what to do. The list could go on and on but I wanted to give you a few things that maybe you haven’t looked at before. We need to accept the time we are in and the current land that we are on. Then break previous debilitating agreements and adjust our surrounding as much as possible. You’re probably thinking that you don’t have gifts but I can assure you, God has places design and birthright into your spirit and soul. It’s the process of finding what it is that proves to be most difficult. There is probably no platform, TV show, or other experience where you will get honored or esteemed. But if there was a show highlighting people’s ability to speak peace over troubled souls then you’d been voted in. If there was a show looking for the best mom then you’d be at the top. If there was a contest for “Best Dad” then you would out shine them all. If there was a show where a person who loves to serve without any recognition then you would be showcased. If there was a show where raving about the best person who goes over and beyond while behind the scenes then you would be the star.
I struggle everyday to know “What I’m Good At” and still question the things that I think maybe I have a shot at it. I’m still individuating. Maybe I’m a good writer or maybe I suck. Maybe I’ll be a prayer minister (current dream) or maybe I’ll do more harm than good. I still feel the “problem of problems” and am seeking fulfillment where obstacles bend to my design instead of me bending to them. I’m still attempting to walk out of spirit looking for the works that God designed for it. If I look for outward fruit I may be disappointed but I must know that every tree bears fruit at different seasons. When or where is my season? I don’t know. When and where is your season? I don’t know. But what I do know is that we can prepare beforehand and rid ourselves of baggage and develop character and the fruit of the Spirit which provides a foundation for the gift. Graham Cooke said it best, “People destroy with their character what they’ve built with their gift”.
Spirit I call you to attention and I give you freedom to try and to fail.
I give you freedom to try and to succeed.
I give you freedom to receive your sonship and legitimacy from God your Father.
I give you freedom to be a bride who can rest in the Bridegroom.
I speak peace in the process.
I speak healing from the past and restoration in the present.
I bless you with walking with God instead of walking for God.
I bless with you being before doing.
I bless you with being you and no one else.
I bless you with looking in the mirror and liking what you see.
I bless you with looking in the mirror and loving what you see.
I bless you in the name of Jesus, who loves you with an everlasting love.